Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Toefl essay: parents have brought to our lives



thaiham95 3 / 6  
Jan 18, 2012   #1
Sorry for posting twice a day but i'm really in urgent. Please have some feedback. Thanks in advance.

Parents are the best teachers. Agree or disagree?

Since the first time we burst into tears, for most people, parents have played an essential role in our life. They touch us how to walk, they touch us how to talk, and they are also the first one to establish our foremost knowledge about the world. However, because of the time we stay with our parents, the infinity of knowledge all over the world, parents are not always the best teachers.

On the first hand, one person cannot live with his or her parents for the entire life. Commonly, people tend to leave their mom and dad after graduating from high school or university. For example, US teenagers, as soon as 18 years old, mostly want to learn how to live on their own and prefer not to stay with their family. Moreover, every individual have their own life. They strive to make a living, confront many challenges, form relationships with other people and have their own family with children, wives, husbands. Thus, it is obvious that we are unable to spend all our lifetime with parents. Meanwhile, everybody always have to keep their experiences and knowledge up-to-date day by day. In general, parents cannot be considered the best teachers.

On the other hand, knowledge is something cannot be measured by any number, which is endless. In addition, our parents understanding are also limited, as same as other people. Therefore, the eagerness, the need of discovering the world cannot be fulfilled only by our mother and father. Moreover, in the process of studying, working, playing, we can create many social relationships. Through friends, teachers, partners, clients and so on, the opportunities to learn new things are increased. As a result, our knowledge is also developed. Thus, we can figure out that most of our understanding comes from school, acquaintances, society and even from ourselves. Overall, parents are not the main sources of information

In conclusion, we cannot deny the importance, the early understanding that parents have brought to our lives. However, due to the short period spending with parents and the vast of knowledge, I think that parents may be not the best teachers.

mimi305 1 / 11  
Jan 19, 2012   #2
They touchteach us how to walk, they touchteach us how to talk, and they are also the first one to establish our foremost knowledge about the world.

However, because of the time we stay with our parents, the infinity of knowledge all over the world, parents are not always the best teachers. well I don't really like this sentence , try to change it ;

one personwe cannot live with his or herour parents for theour entire life
For example, US teenagers, as soon as they reach their eighteenth birthdays18 years old , mostly want to learn how to live on their own and prefer not to stay with their familyfamilies .Moreover, every individual have their own life.
OP thaiham95 3 / 6  
Jan 19, 2012   #3
thanks a lot. However, can you help me with the opening of an essay, i always get trouble with it.


Home / Writing Feedback / Toefl essay: parents have brought to our lives
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳