Task 2 IELTS - The usage of electronic media has negative effect on personal relationship
The development of technology cannot be separated from the social life. At present, some individuals argue that there are some severe effects which are appeared by digital media to citizen's relationship. There are therefore several reasons why I believe not just demerit, but merit factors as well. The purpose of older also prominent in this case.
The main cause of personality is electronic apparatus. This is because electronic media has altered people's opinion to each others which is extremely influenced them. For example, a television when children enjoy their watching, they tend to be lazy even forget their assignments from school. This is very harm for them because they gain nothing for their ambition in their life. Further the parents have to guide their children, this aim of controlling what they watch and guardians can ask them for studying.
Nevertheless, there is a potential way to solve this problem, or at least reduce the effect. Firstly, appearing of mass media particularly electronic ones as the source knowledge and education. For instance, the Internet and school computer laboratory. With that, people especially students can learn or discuss together with their friends who this is able to be more chummy the relationship because there is active communication. As teachers, they have to manage their schoolchild in order to protect their students from worse website like gambling or porn web.
To sum up, it is clear to me that although there are drawbacks to the residents who are caused by electronic press, there is also the advantage. As parents, they have to control their children to avoid severe of developing technology.
1. You have to be careful using some sophisticated words in your essay.
The main cause of personality is electronic apparatus .
apparatus means the collective equipment you use for specific purposes;
I guess, you never intend to have this meaning when you change 'media' to apparatus.
2. Don't make your reader confuse. You start to give an explanation, but it makes your argument obscure.
This is because electronic media has altered people's opinion to each others which is are extremely influenced them. For example, a television when children enjoy their watching (watching what?) , they tend to be lazy even forget their assignments from school( maybe you can change this such --> they become lazy and forget to do their assignment). This is very harm for them because they gain nothing for their ambition in their life (It's unclear, what do you mean by ambition?). Further the parents have to guide their children, this aim of controlling what they watch and guardians can ask them for studying.
Hope this help :)
There are therefore have several reasons why I believe not just demerit, but merit factors as well
For exampleTo exemplify , a television when children enjoy their watching, they tend to be lazy even forget their assignments from school.
Good luck!!
