It may sound feasible; however, after a closer look, I find this method problematic and even deleterious to children's longer term development.
Pretty good, Haley! You must be one of the Masters of Language... a natural writer.
Actually, there are many other ways for parents to award their children for their excellent academic performance. For example, instead of giving children money directly, parents can buy things their children want for them, like new iPods or books.
You know, you write so well and make a strong argument, but I still disagree a little. If the students is given an iPod instead, doesn't that cause the same "extrinsic" motivation you are describing? If you want students to have intrinsic motivation, you need to get them inspired. I think money can inspire kids, and I think it might be good sometimes to let them earn a little paycheck by being high achievers. :-)
To make this essay stronger, google this: how to refute the counter-argument