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'parents will give their sympathy' - What are some of the qualities of a good parent?


thaonguyen1901 10 / 29 3  
Aug 24, 2012   #1
I'm going to take the TF in a month and really worry about my writing. I hope you will give me some feedback and I'm very grateful for that !

Prompt: What are some of the qualities of a good parent?

It is said that "Becoming a parent, you become a real adult." Parents have many good qualities because they are models for their children. But in my limited writing, I would tell three most important characters which good parents should have: knowledgeable, ready to listen and willing to change.

Firstly, parents who have much knowledge will know what are best for their children. For example, they choose the area of living which is safe and has many educated people, they choose suitable school which is well-evaluated and has many good kids so that their children will be positively influenced. Moreover, parents are the first teachers, hence erudite ones may orient their children to the right way, mentor them during their studying process, teach them the very first lessons about life. Most successful people have their parents knowledgeable and respectful.

Secondly, an attentive listener will attach relationship with his child and encourage them optimistically. When kids are at the age of curiosity, there are parents being tired of their many questions and ask them not to ask so much. Children don't know the real reason but have to obey their parents. It makes them dull and damages their imagination and creative. When kids become teenagers, they can have some sensitive questions relating to sexual topics. If parents continue to avoid listening and answering thoroughly, children may look for other sources like books, internet, friends which may provide them inexact and harmful information. Therefore it is better for parents to listen carefully and have satisfactory answers for their children.

Finally, a wonderful parent is always willing to change. Parents and children are two different generations that have different values and opinions: Some parents may not know how to use high-tech devices, their fashion is out-of-date... Arguments between generations are unavoidable. If parents force children to follow their old way, it's easy to cause struggle. In such cases, a good parent would try to understand and adapt toward positive outcomes. Furthermore, sometimes parents may make mistakes. It's not bad to make a mistake, the point is how they fix and deal with it. Admitting mistakes and change the situation will arouse admiration from children.

For general, parents will give their sympathy and their best concern to their infants no matter is. However, good parents will not only provide just mental and physical supporting for their children, but also urge them to become good people, good parents for the next generations.

trungandhoai 7 / 20  
Aug 25, 2012   #2
Dear Thao Nguyen,
After reading your essay, I have to admit that your writing is quite well ( though there are some minor grammatical mistakes) . So do not worry much about taking TOEFL iBT writing task. Now, let's see about your essay.

Parents have many good qualities because they are models for their children

There is no mistake about grammar in this sentence; however, it is somehow not logical. I think we should change it into this sentence: Parents have to possess many good qualities because they are models for their children

: knowledgeable, ready to listen and willing to change.

There is a parallel senctence mistake here. And this is how we fix it: knowledge, the ability to change and the will to change.

For example, they choose thearea of livingliving area which is safe and has many educated people,

Most successful people have their parents knowledgeable and respectful.

Can you give examples for this statement? That will make your point more persuasive and insightful.

It makes them dull and damages their imagination andcreativecreativeness .

P/S: Overall, your ideas is good. This essay may earn ~ 4/5 for independent writing task. I am taking for TOEFL iBT in September 16th. It would be great if we could exchange information :-)


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