Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


TOEFL : parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life



tmartin 1 / -  
Dec 19, 2012   #1
TOEFL : One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.

Nowadays, the society has become exceedingly competitive than ever before, parents have the responsibilitis to teach their children to survive and to be indepedent from them, just as animals teach their offspring skills of finding foods. Parents can use many methods to guide them to achieve that, for example, asking them to do some housework or clean the rooms by themselves. In my views, I agree that it is the best way for teenage children to take a part-time job to prepare their adult life for several reasons.

First of all, when children get a job, they are able to earn money by themselves, instead of getting pocket money from their parents. Thus, it is an oppertunity to learn how to deal with money. Take me as an example, when I was 16, I found a job during summer vacation and earned some money by own. At the beginning of the semester, I was told to buy a text book.Unfortunately, I spent most of my salary hanging out with my friend. Therefore, I finally realized that I should learn to make a plan before I spend my money, and that did influence me in my life now.

Secondly, by taking a part-time job, they certainly have to be responsible for anything they have done. For instance, if a student get a job in a company but he is frequently late for work, the company may reduce his payment or even fire him. To compare with the school life, they might suffer only a small punishment at school. Under the circumstances, he will learn that he has to obey the rule and take responsibility for their work.

In conclusion, to help their children to adapt adult life, parents should let them experience it as much as they can. Due to the reasons given above, to encourage children taking a part-time job is a good choice for them to get prepared for adult life.

I'm going to have a TOEFL test next month, hope somebody can give some advise to my essay : - )
Thanks fot your attention!

colin 23 / 47  
Dec 19, 2012   #2
Nowadays, the society has become exceedingly competitive than ever before, parents have the responsibilitis to teach their children to survive and to be indepedent from them, just as animals teach their offspring skills of finding foods.

==>>Nowadays,although the society has become exceedingly competitive than ever before, parents have the responsibilitis to teach their children to survive and to be indepedent from them, just as animals teach their offspring skills of finding foods.

In my views, I agree that it is the best way for teenage children to take a part-time job to prepare their adult life for several reasons.

==>>In my views, I agree that it is the best way for teenage children to take a part-time job to prepare for their adult life for several reasons.

Thus, it is an oppertunity to learn how to deal with money.
==>>a opportunity

Take me as an example, when I was 16, I found a job during summer vacation and earned some money by own.
==>>Take me as an example, when I was 16, I found a job in the summer vacation and make money by myself.


Home / Writing Feedback / TOEFL : parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳