Hi everyone! I'm a new member of this forum. Now, I'm practicing for ielts writting test. So, please! help me :)
Ok, then mention that in the title itself so that it helps you earn more feedbacks and task relevant comments :)
main factor effectmost important people when it comes to influencing one's
of a person
Parents were the main factor effect personality of a person. However, some people think that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies lead on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up.
Ok, have a look at the above two lines. They are very loosely connected with each other. You describe the role played by parents in shaping up one's personality and suddenly jump into who decides having babies.... you need to set up a better link between the lines, otherwise your flow would be disturbed.