Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Parents should send their children to school and let them live happily



kuz7204 2 / 3  
Jul 1, 2013   #1
Taking IELTS in 4 days. Tried to write another essay, need an opninoin what ban can i possibly get??

Topic: Children should never be educated at home by their parents.

Many families choose to educate their children on their own, rejecting the public education system. That means that a child does not attend classes in school and has lessons at home with private teachers or even his own parents instead. There can be plently of reasons for such decision but many parents do not take into considiration the importance of socializing which is provided by school. Personally, I belive that communicationg with other children is essential for every kid and therfore home education cannot affect child's life well in most of the cases.

The first and the main argument is that schools give a unique opportunity for pupils to spend their time in a group of classmates which is indeed a vital experience for every child. Many parents try to protect thair children from every little problem existing but it can be tricky. In order to learn certain qualities, kids should face difficulties so that, if there ia a need, they are able to provide a solution to some problem. Different challengies play an essential role in everybody's life as thay teach how to survive. Getting education at home takes away this important knowledge so children cannot have an ordinary life in the future.

However, of course there are circumstances under which parents do not have other choice apart from becoming teachers themselves. This includes children with a variety of physical and phsygological diseases which lead to incapability of communicating. These are handicaps with inability to move or exercise and mental illnesses. Moreover, such children can even be a threat for society because they do not always realise the consequences of their actions.

Nevertheless, I do not accept the common opinion that home self-education can have a positive effect on a child. A child's upbringing must include sharing activities with other kids, such as playing different games, doing sports, and studying as well. If parents want their children to be risen properly and have only good intentions, they should send them to school and let them live happily.

(338 words)

Pahan 1 / 1824  
Jul 1, 2013   #2
Many families choose to educate their children on their own, rejecting the public education system.

.... I don't think many families do this. Of course there are some families that prefer home schooling. So, I suggest you to replace "many " by "some".

There can be plently of reasons for such decision but many parents do not take into considiration the importance of socializing which is provided by school.

Although there can be many valid reasons for such decisions, the parents need to understand that social skills are as important as theoretical knowledge for their children. Schools are the best places for a child to learn social skills because they provide such environments that ordinary households cannot.

Personally, I belive that communicationg with other children is essential for every kid and therfore home education cannot affect child's life well in most of the cases

Therefore, I personally believe that schools are a better option for educating children. .... better express your opinion simple and direct.
dumi 1 / 6793  
Jul 2, 2013   #3
Well, it seems that you have lots of good ideas. However, you need to pen them down in a more logical way. In the introduction, pay mre attention to clearly intoduce your topic to the reader. Don't go out of topic and stay aligned with your prompt. Also, express your position in the intoductio. Then when you move to body paragraphs, give one reason in each para as to why hold that position. Support your argument with one specific example.


Home / Writing Feedback / Parents should send their children to school and let them live happily
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳