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IELTS - 'Parents should shoulder responsibility of teaching their own children'


colin 23 / 48 15  
Jun 21, 2012   #1
TASK:

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.


MY ESSAY:

Nowadays, there is no unanimous consensus yet on what constitutes a sound children's teaching methodology. The issue of whether our next generation should only taught by parents is of great interest to educationists and sociologists. It would be hard for parents along, from my perspective, teach children how to be good members of society.

Undeniably, parents are regarded as the closest person for children, and home is the first place to educate our descendants. To elaborate, in the nearest relationship, parents can intimately and constantly cultivate their offspring how to act rationally in social contexts. Stories abound in Asian families that those teenagers take parents as role models, imitate their ways of thinking and behavior patterns, and have been, as a result, continuously influenced by their parents to a larger extent. Furthermore, parents can teach their kids with integrity, which is the chief element that guides adolescents what is essential in life and how they are expected to behave. Not only can father and mother inculcate knowledge, but instill high moral values and principles as well.

Nevertheless, such social skills as communication, cooperation, persuading and compromise would not be acquired by pupils simply at home. To be specific, in a healthy and stimulating educational environment, professional tutors at school not only inspire students' acquire social etiquette, but they even enable the youngsters to have a better acquaintance with how to cooperate with each other, how to function as a unit in a group and, most essentially, why individual should contribute to the life of their community. Competitive sports at games and charitable activities at school, for instance, provide students with penetrating and revealing understanding of how to be a good member in a team and the social life as a whole. Consequently, youths who possess these experiences tend to respect others, and are more likely to be responsible and sensible citizens in the community.

To reticulate, I believe that parents should shoulder responsibility of teaching their own children such fundamental social customs as respect the elderly and obey regulations. Admittedly, our descendants should be sent to a more stimulating environment, namely kindergarten or preschool, in order to undergo the real social life when children get older. Technically, the joint effort of both parents and teachers is a necessary condition for fostering our future good members of society, and the combination of home and school environment in recommended in contemporary education.

deepakbaniya 3 / 92 2  
Jun 21, 2012   #2
Nowadays, there is no unanimous consensus yet on where children learn good manners; at home or school.what constitutes a sound children's teaching methodology .

Dear wang,
I was considering to edit the essay but I stumbled in the first introduction paragraph.In such essay, Providing your stand in the first paragraph would help on further elaborating the poins in following paragraphs. Then it flows nicely in other paragraphs elaborating each of your point of view.For example after your first one or two sentences in introduction paragraph, you should have stated your position. ( Home is better or school or both concluding the poins in commas or short sentences.) before starting any other paragraphs.

This gives the genral idea to reader what to expect in coming paragraphs.

With Best,
Deepak
OP colin 23 / 48 15  
Jun 21, 2012   #3
Dear Deepak,

Your comment is of great help for me. Thanks!

Originally, I wanted to write a sentence to arouse the readers' interests and introduce the background of the essay.

Do you mean I should show the topic sentence immediately and clearly in the first paragraph?

"There is no unanimous consensus yet on where children learn good manners; at home or school, which is full of great interest to educationists and sociologists. It would be hard for parents along, from my perspective, teach children how to be good members of society."

I have revised this paragraph. How do you feel about this?

With warmest regards,

Colin Wang


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