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People are now able to get communication or information effectively without thinking of distance


nurainiyusuf16 47 / 83 6  
Dec 2, 2016   #1
Modern technology is changing our world. This has advantages such as bringing people closer together through communication. It also has disadvantages such as destroying the differences between cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

As the impact of modern technology, people are able to get communication or information quickly and effectively without thinking of distance. However, others argue the improvement has some drawbacks such as destroying the differences of cultures. Personally, I totally disagree in the second nation since as far as I consider technology help some community in rural area to show off its unique. This essay will first discuss how technology cannot destroy people's culture, and how it is able to present those differences.

Culture is that have lived in a community since ancient time, and it cannot be destructed by anything else, even technology. For instance, in my country, Indonesia, there are two districts that have different cultures. Before two centuries, those communities did not know what was mobile phone, how to use it, but when it was entered to the areas, it became popular and it had owned by almost all inhabitants there. Though, the technology had entered the place, all of traditions, arts, and culture activities still happened based on both districts beliefs. There is nothing change.

As a matter of fact, the technology is able to show that varies to other people. Taking a famous area in Sulawesi called Toraja as an example. Annually, inhabitants in that place hold an annual event namely "Happy Desember", it happens in beginning of December until the end. It aims for presenting Toraja's culture, traditional dances, also their attractive activities. At the first time, only some people knew it, but after it showed in television, and shared by people, enormous tourists have come, from local to overseas. It proves that technology is unable to destroy human's culture varies.

All in all, I believe that the presence of technology is for good purposing, in culture aspect, it is able to help community in small region for introducing its divergence.

justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Dec 2, 2016   #2
Hi Nuraini, as I go over your essay, I would not lie that most of the sentences you constructed in this essay are quiet confusing, which is normal for a good learner, the good thing is, we can still improve the essay and this where your Essay Forum Family plays a big role.

Having said that, please find suggested modifications below;

- AsWith the impact of modern technology,
- people are able to get communicationto communicate better and getor information quickly and effectively
- without thinking oftaking a distance.
- However, others argue that the improvement
- differences of cultures .
- in the second nationnotion since
- as far as I consider technology helped some community - (...) its unique capability to link people and machines .
- This essay will firstdiscussprove thathow technology

- Culture is that havelivedexist in a community ...

There you have it Nuraini, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision.
For future writing reference, mind the construction of your sentences.


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