Hi I need your help again with a toefl essay. Please give me some feedback about grammar and also the content. I appreciate your help!
In some countries , people are no longer allowed to smoke in many public places and office buildings. Do you think this is a good rule or bad rule? Use specific reasons and details to support your position.
People have the right to decide over their own life and thus have the right to smoke if they want to. However, as smokers have the right to smoke, other people have the right to not smoke or be forced to. Hence I think it is a good rule that some countries prohibit people to smoke in public areas. As a result, other people, who choose not to smoke, don't have to inhale the toxic "cloud" coming from cigarettes. Better yet, the rule may make smokers to reduce their smoking habits and create better images for the working places which have smokers as employees.
Smokers think that when they smoke outside a building the smoke won't come in to the building but unfortunately it does. My mom used to smoke in our balcony and I and my sister who sat the house could still feel the smoke coming from the balcony every time she smoked. Thus people who choose to not smoke still have to inhale the toxic smoke when smokers are smoking around public areas. This affects not only the people who are in buildings but also people who walk by.
By have a rule to prohibit people smoke around public areas makes smokers have to walk a long way to have a smoke. Hence, this can make smokers to reduce their smoking habits because many smokers won't want to walk a long way just for a cigarette, especially in winter when it is cold outside.
What do you think when you see teachers in a school where your child will begin at smoke around the school's area? Exactly, smokers not only harm people around them but also destroy the image of the workplaces they work for. Parents won't want to their children to begin at a school there the children can see their teachers who they looking up for smoke and in turn, copy that bad behavior. In some countries, people can have negative pictures of companies that have employees who are smokers, especially if the employees are women.
Smokers are not allowed to smoke in public areas and I think all countries in the world should apply this rule. People who don't smoke won't have to worry about their lungs every time their co-workers or friends have a smoke. Furthermore, working places will look cleaner and better in the eyes of their customers, and smokers will have to reduce their smoking habits, which are bad for their health.