Some people argue that it is more importsnt to have enjoyable job that to earn a lot.

Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job, that to earn a lot of money.Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life.

Some people think that it is better to have a delightfull job, while others argue that a good salary is more beneficial. Before drawing a reasoned conclusion let us first discuss both sides of view.

There are several reasons why job should be pleasurable. To begin with we spend at least 30% of our day at work, and if we do not enjoy our work some day it will make an nuisance. Second people who revel their work, they are more succesfull and have more chanсes move up the career ladder. As an illustration all well-turned sportsmans, doctors enterpreneurs are crazy about their works, and can spend at work longer hours.

On the other hand there are arguments to back up the view that a good salary is prior. First most of people are working to earn money the more the merrier. Moreover some people even do not working in there profession, if only to earn more money and ensure high standarts of living. Second in connection with the proliferation of unempoyement, it is not always possible to find enjoyable work, and in this case job seekers are ready to evaluate any proposals.

To sum up there conveincing argumets to support both sides of view. As far as i am concerned that a good job should be comfortable from the four winds and bring both money and joy.

I prefer to place all or part of the main sentence at the end of the sentence. Like this: While others argue that a good salary is ..., some people think that it is better... This focuses on the reader's attention on the complexity, rather than the simplicity, in this way address the essay's topic.


To begin with, people spend gigantic hours at work.


What do you want to say here? This sentence leads me a bit confused. If you could, then please re-write this.

Is it the IELTS or TOEFL essay? Help your readers by showing what this essay is for.

Some people think that it is better to have a delightful job, while others argue that a good salary is more beneficial. Before drawing a reasoned conclusion let us first discuss both sides of the argument

There are several reasons why jobs should be pleasurable. To begin with we spend at least 30% of our day at work;if we do not enjoy our work some day it will be a nuisance. Second, people who revel in their work are more successful and have more opportunities to move up the career ladder. For example, all well-turned sportsmans, doctors, and enterpreneurs are crazy about their jobs, and can spend at work longer hours.

On the other hand, there are arguments to back up the view that a good salary is more important. First, most people are working to earn as much money as possible. Moreover some people even do not working in there profession, if only to earn more money and ensure high standarts of living. Second in connection with the proliferation of unempoyement, it is not always possible to find enjoyable work, and in this case job seekers are ready to evaluate any proposals.

To sum up there conveincing argumets to support both sides of view. As far as i am concerned that a good job should be comfortable from the four winds and bring both money and joy.

That's about all I can edit. I think that you should rewrite the second half of your essay because it doesn't make much sense at this point

thank u for comments..it's ielts essay..

... well, how can the job be delightful? good salary or job satisfaction? That is exactly what your prompt intends to know. So you need to be more specific here .


Follow this structure for your introduction;

Pay attention to what Pahan suggested above. Yes, it is always better you conclude your intro with a statement that expresses your opinion clearly. And then in body paras, you try to justify your opinion by giving reasons and examples. Unless your prompt has not asked you to discuss both views, keep supporting your view only. There is no point in talking about the other side of the argument :)