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People's attitudes are determined more by their immediate situation or surroundings than by..(GRE)

rlagusdk 1 / -  
Sep 7, 2016   #1
People's attitudes are determined more by their immediate situation or surroundings than by society as a whole.

It is debatable whether people's thoughts and demeanors are impacted more by current milieu or society as a whole. Imminent situations do have some influence on people's attitudes; however, it is society as a whole that shapes people on a long term.

To begin with, immediate surroundings can have a huge impact if the situation itself affects numerous people. Due to the sudden change, people's stances can change rapidly. Fukushima accident cogently shows how immediate surrounding can engender drastic transformation in people's attitudes. There was a serious radioactive water leakage due to high magnitude of earthquake and tsunami in Japan. The leakage is very harmful, almost lethal to living creatures including humans. After this incident, plane tickets and hotel fees for tourists have radically dropped since a lot of people refuse to visit Japan because of the potential harm on their body. Japan used to be one of the most popular nations among tourists, but now, its heyday has passed due to the nuclear accident; the country became much less attractive to people now compared to the past.

Nonetheless, society as a whole is still a crucial factor in determining people's thoughts. People's thoughts and stances vary as the society go through different phases and changes. For example, youtubers' status has increased incredibly over the past several decades; the job was once not even considered as a real job, but because the society transformed steadily and continuously, demands on internet and Youtube as a platform for video creators have increased. People consider the career more seriously than before. Another example is attitudes toward LGBT community. After the law passed regarding same sex marriage in the United States, it yielded a huge impact worldwide. Although it seems like recent situations have brought changes, it is not; both instances, especially same sex marriage was issues of societies for a long time, and after slow and gradual process, both incidents happened and people's attitudes changed even from before. Thus, society as whole rather than immediate situations mold people's thought process.

All in all, even though imminent surroundings can sometimes drastically transform and impact people's attitudes, it is prolonged societal issues and features that shape people's thoughts and behaviors on the long term.

Lexusnguyen1995 2 / 5 2  
Sep 7, 2016   #2
Hi there, I've your essay; sorry I'm not a grammar expert but I would like to give my opinion on your essay. In the paragraph 2, you could describe more about how the Japanese people's attitude after the natural disaster, whether they are more united as a country or more separated. Since circumstance can change ones' attitude they could become more caring or more selfish. You should really go in details for that because the prompt was asking how can circumstances can affect your attitude.That's my opinion, I hope I can help.

Good luck with everything!
justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Sep 7, 2016   #3
Hi Stephanie, first of all, WELCOME to the Essay Forum Team, I hope you find this website to be helpful as well as valuable to your writing projects, we aim to provide you with the most accurate and objective feedback in order for you to come up with a well managed essay that answers the prompt.

Having said that, as I go through your essay, I must say what you did is a direct translation of your thoughts and ideas, you put them together and form a sentence, though this is how a sentence is constructed, somehow, the sentences are not complete, to explain this observation, please find the corrections below;

- demeanors are impacteda direct result of a more - by current milieu or society as a whole.
- however, it is the society as a whole
- that shapes the people on a long term .

There you have it Stephanie, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision, this is a very short modification and I've left you with the rest of the essay in order for you to see the difference and practice editing yourself.

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