Hello, below is my GRE essay:
Could you tell me if my essay's structure, reasons and examples are good?
Topic:
People's attitudes are determined more by the immediate situations or surroundings than by society as a whole.
Attitude is the way people think about and behave towards some thing. On considering what factors have more significant impact on a person's attitude, some people believe that personal assumptions and behavior are influenced predominantly by society as a whole. By contrast, others adopt the stance that attitude is form when people face with immediate circumstances. Althoug the former statement is true to some extent, it is the later that is corroborated by practical evidence.
On the one hand, though human's attitude is affected deeply by society, social impact is vulnerable. For example, a child is usually told not to tell lies by his parents as lying is a bad behavior. But when he gets adult, contacting with different kinds of people and dealing with various situations in which he had to tell lies to cover some thing up, he starts to tell lies, no matter whether they are white or harmful lies. As can be seen, social effects on attitude are, though lengthy, weak and easy to be replaced. On the other hand, attitude formation is often attributed to immediate circumstances which are much stronger than society. For example, lessons about love taught by our parents advise us to love everyone unconditionally, but a woman who suffers from an acrimonious divorce might become doubtful about love. Only under particular circumstances do people pay more attention to their thoughts, feelings and actions which make a large contribution to the formation of attitude.
Another reason for this is the set of personal experience every one possess. Obviously, personal experience is different from person to person, even twins living in the same homes. Base on their unique experience, people form ideas and take their stances. Hardly do two people have the same attitude towards every thing they face with. For example, a student may have a predilection for his math teacher who is sophisticated and strict because he has good impression with these kinds of personality. However, another is scared of him on account of his coldness. This proves that although people are in the same society, their attittude are not analogous because they may have formed their own presumptions previously about surrounding things and people. This results in the fact that they form their attitude without much impact from society, but from personal expericence of particular situations.
In conclusion, attitude is formed mainly under immediate circumstances. Much as people expose to the impact of society, they will not have their mind shaped until involving in particular circumstances.
Could you tell me if my essay's structure, reasons and examples are good?
Topic:
People's attitudes are determined more by the immediate situations or surroundings than by society as a whole.
Attitude is the way people think about and behave towards some thing. On considering what factors have more significant impact on a person's attitude, some people believe that personal assumptions and behavior are influenced predominantly by society as a whole. By contrast, others adopt the stance that attitude is form when people face with immediate circumstances. Althoug the former statement is true to some extent, it is the later that is corroborated by practical evidence.
On the one hand, though human's attitude is affected deeply by society, social impact is vulnerable. For example, a child is usually told not to tell lies by his parents as lying is a bad behavior. But when he gets adult, contacting with different kinds of people and dealing with various situations in which he had to tell lies to cover some thing up, he starts to tell lies, no matter whether they are white or harmful lies. As can be seen, social effects on attitude are, though lengthy, weak and easy to be replaced. On the other hand, attitude formation is often attributed to immediate circumstances which are much stronger than society. For example, lessons about love taught by our parents advise us to love everyone unconditionally, but a woman who suffers from an acrimonious divorce might become doubtful about love. Only under particular circumstances do people pay more attention to their thoughts, feelings and actions which make a large contribution to the formation of attitude.
Another reason for this is the set of personal experience every one possess. Obviously, personal experience is different from person to person, even twins living in the same homes. Base on their unique experience, people form ideas and take their stances. Hardly do two people have the same attitude towards every thing they face with. For example, a student may have a predilection for his math teacher who is sophisticated and strict because he has good impression with these kinds of personality. However, another is scared of him on account of his coldness. This proves that although people are in the same society, their attittude are not analogous because they may have formed their own presumptions previously about surrounding things and people. This results in the fact that they form their attitude without much impact from society, but from personal expericence of particular situations.
In conclusion, attitude is formed mainly under immediate circumstances. Much as people expose to the impact of society, they will not have their mind shaped until involving in particular circumstances.