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Some people believe that adverts are conducive to economic development, but others disagree


Alexander Hu 1 / 1  
2 days ago   #1

IELTS writing task 2: advertising



Topic: Some people say that advertising has positive economic effects. Others think it has negative social effects because it will make people feel dissatisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

These days, commercial advertisements are ubiquitous in our daily life. While some people believe they are conducive to economic development, others contend they may exert adverse influences. Personally, I am convinced that advertisements are a double-edged sword.

On the one hand, a number of individuals support the spread of advertisements for several reasons. The first one is that they can stimulate consumption. It is through commercials that consumers obtain information about products. Buyers, attracted by the quality and utility of these commodities, may be persuaded into purchasing them, therefore making contributions to the economy. Besides, advertising offers job opportunities. Advertising industry employs a great number of employees and enables them to earn their daily bread. As a result, the rate of unemployment can be maintained below a certain level and thus will not give rise to social problems.

However, some people are opposed to advertisements. This is mainly because they are likely to pose unfavourable impacts on consumers. To be specific, commercials tend to associate luxury brands with a relatively high social status. Influenced by the exaggerative claim, those who long for fame and wealth will be dissatisfied with their ordinary possessions and endeavour to acquire advertised products despite their limited means. This will certainly impose financial burdens on them. In addition, advertisements may cause anxiety to those people mentioned above. Commercials mislead them into creating a relationship between consumption and well-being. If they fail to afford advertised products, they may feel inferior to the better off and discontented about their status quo, which will affect their self-identification.

In conclusion, I maintain that both opinions are justifiable and that advertisements have benefits and drawbacks. Therefore, I suggest that limitations should be placed on them so as to give full play to their merits.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,876 3553  
1 day ago   #2
the rate of unemployment can be maintained below

Be clear. The rate of unemployment in the advertising industry . Their rate of unemployment will have little effect on the national unemployment rate, which is implied in this section All the information you have must be related to and on topic.

Besides

Rather than besides, increase your C + C by relating the previous sentence to the nest. For, instance you can,connect these by saying

Advertising clearly affects the economy by employing thousands of people in advertising agencies, commercial production houses, and other related industries. In turn, it lowers ...

they are likely to pose

Remove the phrase of uncertainty as the opinion writethe clarityof your point of view must never be suspect. Be definite in your opinion development and presentation.

To be specific,

Unnecessary word filler. Since you have only 40 minutes to write this task, always be precise and subjective in every sentence, focus on discussion clarity rather than phrase pauses that don't help move the opinion presentation forward.

I maintain that both opinions are justifiable

Your opinion as it is, needs to be developed as a seperate paragraph. Remember the format requirement is 2 paragraphs for each general opinion then, a thorough insight into your opinion The conclusion should only state a recap of the 3 reasoning sentences. In this case, your improper personal opinion placement will cancel out the scoring contribution it could have made to your essay.
OP Alexander Hu 1 / 1  
1 day ago   #3
@Holt
Thanks for your suggestions.


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