the rate of unemployment can be maintained below
Be clear. The rate of unemployment in the advertising industry . Their rate of unemployment will have little effect on the national unemployment rate, which is implied in this section All the information you have must be related to and on topic.
Rather than besides, increase your C + C by relating the previous sentence to the nest. For, instance you can,connect these by sayingAdvertising clearly affects the economy by employing thousands of people in advertising agencies, commercial production houses, and other related industries. In turn, it lowers ...
likely to pose
Remove the phrase of uncertainty as the opinion writethe clarityof your point of view must never be suspect. Be definite in your opinion development and presentation.
To be specific,
Unnecessary word filler. Since you have only 40 minutes to write this task, always be precise and subjective in every sentence, focus on discussion clarity rather than phrase pauses that don't help move the opinion presentation forward.
I maintain that both opinions are justifiable
Your opinion as it is, needs to be developed as a seperate paragraph. Remember the format requirement is 2 paragraphs for each general opinion then, a thorough insight into your opinion The conclusion should only state a recap of the 3 reasoning sentences. In this case, your improper personal opinion placement will cancel out the scoring contribution it could have made to your essay.