Some people believe mental strength is more important for success in sports while others think...

the importance of psychological conditions in sport

In recent days, sports have gradually become a hot-debated topic that everyone concerns about. While many people consider that fitness and power of athletes contribute mostly to their triumph, the others believe phsycological conditions are more significant. This essay will discuss briefly both viewsides and put forward my personal perspective.

To begin with, it is obvious that physical strength can bring numerous benefits towards the performances. Several sports areas nowadays demand high sources of energy in order to fulfill smoothly. The weightlifter, who have to lift weights to performe for the viewers, is the ideal example. It is widely considered that the stronger he is, the heavier weight he can lift . That means if sportmans want to hold great sense of accomplisment, they should possess the strongest and stable physical conditions. Therefore, the feeling of admiration and respect from attendants after ẹnoying the performances can also fulfill their satisfaction and happiness to face with tougher competition in the long terms.

However, in the contrast scale, many people believe that mental factors directly affect to the competition's outcome. Even if sports professionals approach many chances to build up physical strength, they may easily face wwith failure when lacking in persistent mind and conditions. To illustrate that, many famous footballers, for instance: Bui Tien Dung, who is believed in his polished ability to control the ball, experienced many barrier due to pressure and negative thoughts. Due to the high expectation of viewers around the country an his co-workers, he cannot keep a sound mind through the competition and led it influence negatively to his results.

In my personal opinion, although I cannot deny the noticeable function that physical health has played in sports areas, I still admit the importance of mental factors as a permanently element which contribute to success.

As an evidence, many athletes claim that dabling in training their mind can help them get rid of failure and negative thoughts to performe better. It is obvious an essential practicing method towards spotmans.

Take everything into consideration, peak performance is the combination of determination and hard work. So stressed is the sport's environments that practicing to have strong mind is believed to be one of the most essential requirements to rise success.

There are quite a few grammatical errors, but overall I feel that you were able to clearly show each side and how it affects the players. Maybe perhaps be a little more clear on which side your personal view takes, whether it be fitness and power, psychological condition, or neutral. I do recommend quickly using a free grammar check online.

Ignoring the grammatical errors, you almost had a well developed essay presented. Your public point of view discussion was sound and even used an example to further highlight the validity of the point of view. However, the mistake there was choosing an athlete who isn't internationally known. Next time, aim for a generic example or a more popular example that the examiner might be able to recognize to help boost your score.

The main problem with the essay came when you presented your personal point of view. It became choppy, little developed, and presented in a confusing manner. It is within the personal point of view presentation that you need to be careful. You need to make sure that you are clearly understood in that paragraph. Your presentation left a lot to be desired. Unfortunately, that will have a major effect on your score, specially since you left the essay with an open ended, rather than concluded, final paragraph.

You also should aim to write only between 250-300 words in this essay so that you will have time to review and revise your essay. You can also use the extra time to double check your vocabulary usage, which is also problematic in this presentation.

Some grammatical errors:
to performe for
they should possess the strongest and the most stable ... => (parallel structure)
attendants after ẹnjoying ...
experienced many barriers
... which contributes to success

@quynhnhi2801
Your essay sounds cool, however you need to go through your grammar again as they are some errors. I'll advice you proofread it yourself or give it to your friends to help check out for grammatical errors before you submit.