Some people believe the range of technology is increasing the gap between people. Argument essay

Some people believe the range of technology available to individuals today is increasing the gap between poor people and rich people. Others think it is having an opposite effect. Discuss these points of view. What is your opinion?

communication between people affected by technology

Today for the time being this is an undeniable fact that the knock on technology on the life of humans can be profound. One group of individuals put forward an argument that technology is a reason of disparity between rich and poor, on the other hand other group of people criticize this opinion. In my essay I am going to discuss both views which must be address accordingly.

As it commonly known that technology is a marker status of globalized world which, in this this turn, opens opportunity for everybody to get profound knowledge and scope of experience. For example in comparison with last century, nowadays it is acceptable for everybody to get bachelor degree at world-prominent universities such as Cambridge, Oxford etc. without visiting them. In addition internet provides equal access for everybody to wide range of information. As a result that is obvious that online shopping, e-learning and social networking achievable for both poor and rich people and reduce the gap between social levels.

But as everything, the negative sides of modernization are not excepted. For instance, new invented robotic hands used by most of car making companies replaced an array of human labor and as a result of this thousands left without work, in contrast this companies increased in their incomes. Moreover, most of vital medicines and medical procedures such as open heart surgery or kidney transplantation costs over thousands of dollars which is unreachable for poor and became the reason of their death. As a consequence that is evident that technology is a layer between social levels of human.

In conclusion taking into an account both sets of argument it should be considered that technology decorates our world and makes it more globalized and acceptable.

Fuad, please do not take what I am about to tell you in the wrong way. My advise is being given in the form of constructive criticism in order to help you improve with your upcoming practice tests. This essay is not going to get you even close to a passing score in the actual IELTS test. This will only get you a score of around 3 at the most due to severe problems existing in the essay.

The very first problem that is very obvious in your essay is that you are not capable of writing even simple English sentences in a manner that can be easily understood by the reader. Most of your writing suffers because of the improper sentence structure and word usage. It would be best for you to start intensive English language lessons in order to improve that part of the problem. You must read, think, speak, and write in English 24/7 if you want to improve those basic skills of yours. If you do not improve your ability to use the English language, then you will not pass this test.

Try to make sure that you explain each topic sentence in every paragraph completely. That means, not just giving reasons for the topic discussion without explaining it thoroughly. You should remember that the best written IELTS tests are those that contain only one topic for discussion per paragraph within 3-5 sentences. That way, the total 5 paragraph presentation will come across as clearly explained and easily understandable. Just remember this, you are not being tested on the number of reasons that you know, you are being tested on how well you can explain one reason based on the given topic.

In the 2nd paragraph, you did not clearly explain how technology has made virtual studying available to all. Nor how does internet shopping and other technological advancements relate to how the gap between the rich and poor has been further developed because of these tech advancements.

I cannot even begin to move on to explaining the other points for improvement in your essay because the problems I mentioned above are the ones that have a direct relation with your ability to score well on the test. Fix those 20 problems first then we can try to fix the remaining problems of your essay writing skills.

Please refer to the abundant Task 2 written examples at this forum as part of your review process. Learn from the mistakes of others, improve based on what you learn from their lessons. That way you can also improve your capacity to write proper prompt responses based on the given instructions. Something you failed to do in this essay because you forgot to give your personal opinion at the end as required by the prompt instructions.

Thank you. your opinion is very important for me, i will consider it and will try to improve my essay