When it comes to voluntary community work, some assert that adolescentsyoungters who are passing their years of adolescense(though the word "adolescents" not incorrect, I have not seen it in common usage )are supposedto doshould be made involved with itunpaid words in community(you already mentioned at the beggining that this is voluntary community work and that makes this part redundant) whichsince it would be a win-win situation forcan bring huge benefits to both themselvesthe teenagers and community. Basically, I too agree with that assertion .
Good intro :)Evidently, occupying their free time with paid-free(hmmm... "paid-free" sounds confusing, also here you can avoid talking about the payment because it is the benefit to the community ;you now try to tell the benefit to the teenagers) community works , in turn (no comma) benefits those young volunteers. Firstly, the valuable experience which propel them to be more competent in future workin their communication skills, time management, team work etc.that would help them be equiped with valuable leadership and social skills for the future.from communicating with others which equip them with social skills to cooperating with professionals which enrich their knowledge . Furthermore, assisting others in society makes them form a sense of fulfillment, and happiness and contentedness together with making them more responsible personalities in the society.
Very good factual reasons. However, you need to support it with an example. For instance, tell that you gained those skills while you were engaged in such work : )Lastly, employers are now far more willing to recruit who have been engaged in voluntary jobs. Therefore those first-hand experiences eventually become their superiority.
.... This is ok, but you can even leave this out because you have already given one solid reason above... most important thing is that you give an example for that reason. And also be mindful about the time factor which is a critical factor for this type of exams. If you can come up with just one good reason and an example to support it, that's the best for you to earn marks during a limited time frame.