Ielts task 2 Many people people find it hard to balance their work with other parts of their lives

topic:
Many people people find it hard to balance their work with other parts of their lives.

What are the reasons for this? How can this problem overcome?

Work - life imbalance is becoming increasingly serious in many nations. An array of residents are having difficulty in maintaining a successful and comfortable environment in their workplace and at the same time part with time for family. There are a number of reasons behind this phenomenon and several solutions should be adopted by the government and individuals to improve the situation.

There are two primary reasons why individuals are struggling to keep balance between work and the daily. One reason is that people are under considerable pressure because of the highly competitive labor market. Some well-known companies narrow down human resources in order to maintain a normal life. Consequently, they might have a substantial volume of work and people have to work some very unsocial hours.Moreover, work hours have increased and so have daily expenses, but there has not been much augmentation seen in the employees' salaries. Furthermore, people are exhausted from getting promoted due to the economic recession and high requirements at work. People nowadays are very ambitious and nobodys wants to be left behind when it comes to their career progression. Therefore, they outdo their capacity and even do overtime ignoring their other priorities.

Fortunately, numerous measures could be taken to prevent this problem. This first solution would be people ought to set their own goals and priorities. They had better pay attention to when they are most productive at work and block that time off for their most important work-related activities. Additionally, structuring a personal day can increase productivity at work, which are able to result in more free time to relax outside of the workplace. A second measure would be for the authority and institutions to change work policies, reduce workload and adhere to paid employee vacation time. Take Netflix for example, this company lets their employees have a year's leave to parents. In return, employees are more productive and more loyal to the firm.

In conclusion, it is clear that there are various reasons for this tendency, and steps need to be taken to tackle this problem.

This creates a topic reference inaccuracy. Review the original topic reference point. It uses"people" while the writer refers to "nations". There is a misrepresentation of the topic subject.


A continued misrepresentation of the original topic basis. Deductions will continue to apply resulting in a low to failing TA score.


2 problems with this portion:
- Lack of established discussion topics based on the given questions (no thesis statements).
- Incorrect solution reference. Solutions are personal.The problem is not one that should be resolved by the government.

The approach to the topic restatement +personal opinion will prevent the essay from achieving high / passing marks.


This sentence lacks proper development in terms of idea presentation to make sense to an ENL. What is a " narrowed down human resource"?

The writer is over-discussing the topics tothe point of under-development. There are too many ideas but not enough valid explanations. The clear connection between topics in the paragraphs are blurred. There is not enough use of proper connecting words, phrases, or sentences.