Topic :
Some people say that in order to be happy, you must have a job you love doing. Others say that order factors are more important.
Do you think that people can only be pleased if they have a job they really enjoy?
The purpose of working is make a better life or make us richer, so people can buy stuffs they needed. Citizens will spend their lives at working place, so it is important to have a good job to make us happy. But, if someone say that loving our job is the only one to be glad, I'm not really sure about it.
That's true, more than 50 percent, the place of some worker are in the office, so they need to choose the best working environment and represent their skill. However, if you only focus on it, you will not have any experience taking pleasure yourself. Because happiness is not only about working. For example, when you come back from work, go home and meet your family or your children, it can make you blissful.
For some workaholics who really love to labor, spending free time it's not a good thing. But, I believe, although workaholics like it, it must be a time, they feel saturated. They need to do something else to refresh their mind. They can go on vacation, relaxing them self, enjoying the panorama and forgetting everything about job for a while. So, when they come back for toil, they will have healthier mind and body.
In conclusion, having a job you love is not only way to make citizens cheerful. There are other aspects which can make people happy like : meet family often after back from the bureau and spare time for day off to have a trip, so it can revive our mind and easier to get good idea for work.
Hello dinartika19
I hope these some corrections help you to improve your writing :)
But, if someone saysays that loving our job is ...
... the place of some worker aresome workers is in the office, so they ...
... you will not have any experienceany experiencesin taking pleasure yourself. Because happiness is not only about working.This is just sub clause, it needs main clause.
They can go on vacation, relaxing them selftheir selves , enjoying the panorama ...
... can make people happy like : meet family often after back from the bureau and spare time for day off to have a tripin conclusion, it does not need example anymore , so it can revive our mind ...
Hi Atikah, below are additional help for your essay;
- The purpose of working is to make
- buy stuffsthe things they needed.
- CitizensPeople will spend
- their lives at working place ,
- to makekeep us happy.
- ButHowever , if someone says
- that loving our job is the only one to be gladthing that makes us happy ,
- That's true, moreIt's true that more than
- 50 percent, the place of someof workers are in the office,
- andthat represent their skill.
- BecauseI believe happiness is not only
There you have it Atikah, for future writing reference, push for better vocabulary and more meaningful approach of the prompt.
