toefl writing: people holding different views cannot achieve success?

looking forward to your reply, many thanks! ~O(∩_∩)O~
topic:people holding different views cannot achieve success?/in a team, theoes who do not accept others' criticism can not success?

When it comes to the success of a team, a common belief is essential. There are people for a same purpose gathering together to form a team. It's only one faith existing that could ensure the stable development of a team and it's actually a better way to pull together to fulfill the target that set up clear goals. People with different views for one's own purpose may focus his task on his own benefit instead of the team, as a result, these not well-finished teamwork could result in failure. For this reason, all the team members should share one faith.

On the other hand, it's also important to hold others' criticism for a successful team. There are existing differences of opinions among various kind of persons, which lead to healthy competition among these team members. People who accept other's criticism would take a great chance to improve their abilities and develop themselves much better. By doing so, they could make the best of the both worlds, and it affect the team in a benefit way. Besides, these varieties of individual team members could energize the team with their enthusiasm, which makes the team more flexible. If someone in the team was reluctant to take others' advices and these criticisms were confines, the team would be stuffy and the teamwork would be tedious as a result. In return, the unexuberant is easy to be eliminated.

To conclude, in order to achieve success, it's necessary for a team to establish objectives and belief, for which everyone in the team has a strong desire to work. At the same time, different views should be encouraged while others' criticism should be allowed , because it's divergences in team that brings this team more chances and challenges which help to sharpen the competitive edge.

There are people for a same purpose gathering together to form a team. -------- This is a confusing sentence. The reader cannot get a clear idea about what you are trying to say.

It's only one faith existing that could ensure the stable development of a team and it's actually a better way to pull together to fulfill the target that set up clear goals.------------ If you make your sentences shorter and simpler, you would have a better flow of ideas. When you try to say many ideas in one sentence, you would loose track towards the end of the sentence;

A team can progress effectively when its members do not have conflicting views. Such a team could easily focus on one clear goal without wasting time on reconciling clashing ideas.

On the other hand, it's also important that team members acceptto hold others' criticism for building a successful team.
People who accept other's criticism would take a great chancebe able to understand their weaknesses and improve their abilitiesand develop themselves much betterrectify them .

Here is one more sentence that needs some work:
Use this phrase: different ....from
People with different views from one's own purpose may focus his task on his their efforts on their own benefit instead of the team's benefit. As a r esult, these not well-finished teamwork could result in failure.

:-)

Thanks, Dumi!!

Julie do have any questions? You have great mastery of English, and to improve your style you just need to type often and speak often. Great job