Learning about the past has no value for those of us living in the present.
Agree or disagree?
Some people believe that it is not necessary to learn about the historical events since it will not bring any benefits. However, while i accept that study from the past might not have any significant impacts, i would argue with the idea that historical educating is not valuable for people living in the current period.
To begin with, studying history might not have any considerable influences to people nowadays. Due to the rapid development of technology, individuals are living in a modern world, in a civilized society. Additionally, people have to pay attention to other subjects or factors which might contribute to the world such as economy, health or lifestyles. Beside, historical events might not exactly real since it were written or modified by selfish individual or some religious groups. This might lead to misconception for people living in the present
However, despite all of the drawbacks, i believe studying history is not a waste of time. First of all, thanks to many discoveries in the past, people are now having a great number of opportunities to create and develop their lifestyles. For example, the invention of penicillin have cured infections. Another reason is people can now trying to prevent conflicts, which they did in the past. For instance, now people know how horrendus is war, war is nothing but just violence and crimes. Therefore, they would try to avoid any conflicts. Finally, learning about the past can provide people with their national knowledge. Through learning about the past, people would know what their nation did to build, develop and protect. Therefore, individuals now would more proud of their nations and would be more enthusiastic in contributing to their countries.
In conclusion, while there are some drawbacks of studying history, i believe that people should learn about the past since it will give people pride about their nations, and it will prevent people from making mistakes.
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4783 You should not be arguing in this essay. You should be offering a direct response to the question which is, do you agree or disagree? You are not being asked to argue your point, you are being asked to discuss it based on the opinion that you support. Based on your writing, it appears that you agree with the opinion presented. However, you did not directly present that discussion, which was the requirement for the essay response.
When it got to the discussion paragraphs, your opinion became further blurred. There is a lack of clarity in your presentation because you opted to weight the pros and cons of both sides rather than taking a solid stance based on a clear opinion. The Task 2 test scores you on the clarity of your opinion and your reasoning in defense of it. This essay does not appropriately accomplish the expected task. You are not giving a solid opinion and you do not have a real side to support in the discussion paragraphs. As such, the examiner will score you essay based on the lack of a clear opinion, which will not be good for your final score. You need to choose a single opinion and base the 2 reasoning paragraphs on the reasons that you feel support your opinion.
Now, the above explanation indicates the major reason why your essay will start off with a low scoring consideration. Further deductions will be applied for your LR, GRA, and C&C errors. Since you did not properly discuss the essay, I see no need to discuss these errors in detail. I will expect you to do a better job in your next essay, which I hope to review deeply for you so that you can improve your writing and reasoning skills.
