People have little understanding of the importance of the natural world. Show your reasons solutions

the natural world SHIELDED BY TECHNOLOGY

Thanks to the advent of technology, people are becoming more attached to cutting-edge devices and missing out on the status quo of the natural world. Although this phenomenon exerts a plethora of negative influences, some viable solutions can be implemented to alleviate its potential repercussions .

The technological addiction and the hectic lifestyle of individuals culminates in the devoid of knowledge related to nature. Firstly, technological gadgets have taken a heavy toll on human's life as it takes up a large amount of people's time. With alluring social networking sites and appealing apps, most people are irresistible to these tools, which hinders themselves to the core of nature. Moreover, after utilizing leading-edge devices to the fullest, people have a tendency to be indolent and desire relaxation, therefore having no time to figure out the significance of the natural world. Secondly, a hectic lifestyle is also a precursor which limits the opportunities of people to reach the outer side. In a hustle and bustle world, humans have to work and keep abreast of the latest news constantly in order not to be obsolete. Hence, they often find themselves in a paralyzed situation prior to coming home. For instance, after a rigorous schedule at schools, students aspire to sleep and do homework rather than learning about the environment.

In the face of this status quo, two different pragmatic measures could be taken for the alleviation of this issue to be possible. The first viable solution is that schools should include extracurricular activities in the school curriculum. Students are the next generations, which define the future of the nation. Therefore, it is of great necessity for them to realize the significance of nature and pass down on their posterity. Take going to forests for example. When traveling to these areas, students may be able to have a good grasp of the ecosystem. To make sure they are safe, they should be equipped with state-of-the-art tools. The second solution is to broadcast propaganda. Raising citizens' consciousness is of great importance since it helps them to be more aware of how nature can tremendously affect them. Broadcasting is deemed as one of the most flexible solutions to broaden people's horizons about the natural world. It is especially the most effective when they are having a family gathering since they watch television together.

In conclusion, the technological addiction and the busy lifestyle are the two severe ramifications of this trend. However, with the extracurricular extended in school's curriculum and broadcasting propaganda can help to reverse the undesirable trend.

The writer has completely forgotten that the task only allows for 40 minutes of drafting, editing, and finalizing of the presentation. It is impossible to write 422 words within this time frame if the procedure for improving the scoring for the essay is to be followed. There should not be more than 300 words in this presentation, with an emphasis placed on the quality of the information presented rather than the word count. What I have seen in this essay is a lack of proper word referencing and sentence structure for the most part. Errors the writer could have corrected if he was not trying to pass the test based solely on the LR requirements alone.

The first paragraph alone is already a misrepresentation of the original prompt with the inclusion of a sentence about the attachment of people to technology, which is not supported by the original claim. The writer also indicates that these are negatives, which is a personal opinion not covered by the discussion instruction. The writer has basically disregarded the original instructions and come up with his own interpretation of a topic which is far disconnected from the original, and without a chance of receiving a passing score. Always remember, the prompt restatement + personal opinion is not the place to begin the discussion of the topic, which is what the writer mistakenly did in this presentation.

It seems to me that the writer is trying to make unnecessary sentences and prolong his presentation to showcase advanced vocab. Throughout my Ielts studying process, I learned that simplicity is the key and sometimes, you need to simplify your use of language and focus more on how to make your essay well-thought-out, logical, and connected as task 2 is not just marked based on lexical resources. I think it is by no means a daunting task to start to put more emphasis on the other criteria, the only thing you need to do is avoiding overwriting and handle the influx of ideas, choose 1 or 2 and make it clear as much as possible with explanation and example.