IELTS: People have little understanding of natural world. Why and how to fix it?

Lack of knowledge about the place where we live

As much as the human have been relying on the nature ever since our first existences, ironically people barely recognize the significance of the natural world. There are several explainations for that paradox, but some feasible solutions will be proposed now.

The lack of appreciation toward the natural world can be attributed to a few different causes. The most noticable one may be the increasingly technological development. Along with rapid urbanization, less exposure to the nature deprive people's curiosity and gratitude about the world. Additionally, due to a substantial insufficience of education, people are willing to choose to destroy the environment and exhaust all the resources they can possibly get to maximize the short-term profit, or maybe to fulfill their personal satisfaction. For example, to reduce the cost of disposal treatment, a number of companies release toxic waste directly into rivers; or a lot of endangered wild animal's products such as tiger skin or rhino horn, which proved to be of absolutely no values, are illegally bought as symbol of status.

However, it is not too late to take steps to tackle the issue. One possible action should be considered is restructuring urban-rural population distribution. Once depopulation in the countryside area decreases by making more employment opportunities outside the city, for intance, interaction between people and the nature will obviously escalate. Besides, eco-friendly lifestyle should be widely promoted. In fact, rooftop garden are gaining more popularity among urban citizens; or some famous chain cafeterias like Highland VN encourage customers to bring their glass bottles and steel straws by giving them an extra amount of drink.

In conclusion, nowadays when we are facing numberous real challenges from environmental degradation which we are both the perpetrators and the victims, a sense of honour to the importance of the natural world should be instilled. Some reasons are detected, then some solution can be implemented now.

@manhmoc
Hi there!

Firstly, I recommend that you try to evade repetitions within a paragraph/sentence. For instance, take a look at your first paragraph. You had mentioned the word human and nature a few times, although you had used different forms. What I suggest is trying to rationalize and prioritize which words you feel as though are important. Having that sense of standardization will help you create leverage.

IELTS exams require you to work within confined and very specific word counts. This means that you should focus on ensuring that you optimize the space that you have. Omitting unnecessary terminologies would be a great start for this.

Let's take a look at your essay and analyze it from this viewpoint.

As much as humans have a reliance on nature, it's ironic how we barely recognize its significance. There are several explanations and solutions for this paradox.

The lack of appreciation towards nature can be attributed to a few causes. Firstly, there is the increase in technological developments. Due to insufficient education, people choose to take advantage of the environment through exhausting its resources to garner short-term benefits; this is all for personal satisfaction. [...]

Notice how when you remove particular terminologies, you are not necessarily changing the entirety of the text. Rather, you are still relaying the same thoughts but without the rigid details.

Try to keep these in mind as you are writing. Best of luck as always!

@Maria
Thank you so much for your wonderful advice. I really appreciate that.