Advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community
In the pace of life now, most of people live in small villages or remote areas try to seek a way to live and work in large cities and they hope that they will have better life there. Besides, there are many advantages and disadvantages to being citizens of a big city.
There are three benefits that I want to mention. Firstly, it is not difficult for people to find a suitable job in a large community. This means people can earn money to meet their needs. Besides that, in modern cities, not only adults will have a chance to progress their careers, but also children will have a better education. There are many chances for them to contact with the global knowledge for improving their abilities. In addition, healthcare and medical services are also in higher standard for satisfying the citizens. And, going with the development of life, the requirement of people for entertainment also changes a lot. Because of this changing, people have opportunities to approach many modern techniques. By a reason that makes people more creative and active.
On the other hand, live in the big cities, the busier the people are, the colder the people will be. They do not have much time for going around their neighborhood to talk each other. As a result, they have less time for taking care of their children even though themselves. And the children, they have to study a lot. After school, they just stay at home and play video games no chance for running around or play with other children.
In my opinion, living in the small villages, people have much free time for looking after their family but their income sometimes is not enough for their demands. In modern cities, there are many opportunities for people to enjoy many types of amenities of life and they do not feel lonely any more.
BesidesAfter all , there are many advantages ...
... chances for them to contact withapproach the global knowledge for improvingso that they can their abilities.
... are also in higher standard for satisfying the citizens. (I don't think this is appropriate).
AndFurthermore , going with the development of life...
Because of this changing, people have opportunities to approach many modern techniques. By a reason that makes people more creative and active.
Comment: I think you should add or change some ideas here because entertainment and modern techniques seem irrelevant.
On the other handHowever , liveliving in the big cities, ... (I'm not sure about this, but "On the other hand" should not be used here)
... around their neighborhood to talk with each other.
... taking care of their children and even though themselves.
And the children, theyMoreover, the children have to study a lot.
... just stay at home and, play video games, and no chance for running ...
Comment: Remember that each paragraph should contain one idea, and supporting information for that idea must relevant.
... small villages, people have muchmore free time for looking ...
Comment: The conclusion should summarize the ideas of your writing. You doesn't talk about small villages in your writing, and the disadvantages of big cities are missing here.
