IELTS: People migrating to cities causing problems?

The migration of people to cities is one of the biggest problems facing the world's cities today. Discuss the main causes. What solutions can be used to tackle the situation?

In the complex, industrial society nowadays, people are having a tendency to move from the countryside to big cities, making it a major problem to be dealt with. There are some underlying causes that will be discussed in this essay and I will put forward some solutions to tackle the situation.

To my thinking, the two main reasons for this movement are job satisfaction and superior facilities. Firstly, people leave their hometown in countryside for an urban area because they think the city can provide them with plenty of jobs with higher salaries and better pension policies, which enables them to financially support their families to the full. Secondly, regarding superior facilities, cities have a lot more to offer than small towns. The prospects are that children living in an urban area can have access to ideal schooling, good healthcare services, modern technologies and huge sources of entertainment. Consequently, their living and learning conditions are elevated and life quality is improved.

However, though people do benefit from dwelling in cities, it cannot be denied that the trend has brought about certain problems such as overpopulation or strain on city infrastructure; that is why measures should be taken to make the countryside a more appealing place. First of all, governments need to decentralize big companies by offering incentives so that they will move out of the cities, thanks to which people in rural areas can have better jobs as they wish. In addition, it is of crucial importance that governors invest in schools, local medical care and entertainment, as people work more efficiently when their basic demands are met.

In conclusion, the problem of people migrating to urban areas can be solved. If governments are able to balance what is offered in big cities and small towns, the countryside will be much more attractive to local residents, as a result they will stop moving to cities.

I tried to add some examples but don't know where to put them so that it can make sense. Any suggestions?
Please give me some feedback. Any comments are appreciated. Thanks in advance.

Thanks a lot. I tried to express some ideas but couldn't, and your corrections were very helpful, just what I needed.
Will try to keep it nice and simple next time.

Thanks dumi for the suggestions. I'll see to it in my next essays.

Btw, if I don't have any examples, just ideas and reasons, will it hurt my bandscore?

Hi, the essay is really fluent, with good vocabulary and complex sentences. The organization of the essay is great, as well. I just have some suggestions that I hope be useful:


What types of difficulties. Are they social problems? I think it would be better to make this point clear.

that is why measures should be taken to make the countrysidesa more appealing places(you are not talking about a specific countryside. So, I think, you should use plural words) .

they will move out of the cities


A conclusion should consists of what you stated in the essay and gives a summary. It would be better to reword the topic at first. The essay is not about the problems which may be arisen from the migration, but it is about the causes of the migration, as you mentioned in the second paragraph, and the solutions for the reduction of that, as u stated in the third paragraph. Do not open a new discussion in the conclusion.

Regards
Ahmad

@Ahmad: I wasn't satisfied with the conclusion either.

Here's the rewritten version. Will it work better?
"The fact that people are moving to cities in large numbers is of public's concern. Governments need to look into the causes and consider all possible solutions to solve the problem."

Yes, it looks fine. I have a suggestion. How about this one:

"In conclusion, the advantages of large cities could draw many rural people to the cities every years. Therefore, it is necessary to find the roots of such migrations and find some solutions. If authorities and governments do nothing about this problem, the countrysides and rural places will change into the areas free of inhabitants."

Wow that sounds so much better than mine! Thanks a lot. Btw it's every YEAR (no "s")

Thank you very much for the correction :))