Ielts: Why people are moving to big cities - social issue

3． Many people are moving to big cities. Why is that? Do you think it is a good trend? (100123)
----------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------
Recently, there has been a social concern in regards to whether the big city is the best place for us to live. Indeed, increasing number of people from small cities or rural area choose to move to big cites. As far as I am concerned, I agree with the view that people should live in the big city.

In the first place, one major factor that makes a large city more favourable than village is the developed transportation system. First of all, there are various means public transportation such as bus, taxi and train in large cities. As a result, if you do not have a car to go to work, public transportation is often available. Moreover, big cities can also enrich people's social life. For instance, plenty of clubs and social gatherings give you a better chance of meeting friends. As a result, it is beneficial to live in the big city.

Furthermore, In order to survive in the highly competitive world, people need to be employed to support their families. First of all, big cities have many good universities where we can enhance our professional and practical skills in order to improve our employability. Moreover, not only can a big cites provide people with a great chance to develop their skills, but also it offer a wide range of job opportunities while in the countryside this range is limited to a few types of jobs. Therefore, it is better to live in big cities.

However, some people may perceive this issue from different viewpoint. Urban life may exert adverse effects on our health. In the first place, as people increasingly tend to relay on transportation such as buses and private cars, large amount of emissions from road traffic can be produced, this will destroy the quality of the air and water. Consequently, some chronic disease such as diabetes and stroke may be developed by air pollution and water contamination according to a survey released by the British Government.

After having considered all the arguments above, we can finally draw a conclusion that although living in a big city can give rise to health problems it has more positive effect such as better job opportunities and convenient transportation system.

1st para , 2nd sentence "indeed ,Increasing number of people from small cites or rural area choose to move to big cities"

It should be written like this"indeed, increasing number of people from the smaller cities or rural areas have chosen to move to the bigger cites "

:)

2nd para , 2nd sentence " first of all , there are various means public transportation"

Should be written as "first of all, there are various means of public transportation"

In the third para you have used "first of all " the second time . So , it won't be good in exam dear .

3rd para " Moreover , not only can a big cites provide people with a great chance to develop their skills , but also it offer a wide range of job opportunities while in the countryside this range is limited to a few types of jobs"

You better write it as "Although , big cities provide people with the great chance of skills , they also offer a wide range of job opportunities .whereas, in the countryside , there is a limited scale of a fewer types of jobs"

:)

a big city or big cities


it offers


'Various' should be followed by a plural noun


Noteworthy:You should utilize the grammar and spell check features of Microsoft Word to correct as many spelling and grammar problems as possible before submitting your essays. You will find this under the Tools menu of Microsoft Word. If something in your document is underlined in red or green, be sure to check the spelling and grammar suggestions prior to submission. Also proofread your essay yourself to locate correctly spelled but misused words.

Recently, there has been a social concern in regardswith regard to whether the big city is the best place for us to live. Indeed, increasing number of people from small cities or rural areas choose to move to big cites.

In the first place, one major factor that makes a large city more favourable than village for living is the developed transportation system.

First, you write very well. However, you need to have more specific examples to support the reasons you are using to justify your position on the argument.