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What people do with their rubbish and how a town tries to keep the area clean and attractive?



M19O09F11 6 / 9  
Jun 14, 2015   #1
An international organisation has asked you to write a report on how your town or village takes care of the environment. You should include information about what people do with their rubbish and how the town or village tries to keep the area clean and attractive.

....
A health is an important part in our life, so our priority in our city is an environment , and people consider keeping our environment and work together to preservation of the environment . Therefore , the municipality The ministry of environment put regulations and instructions to take care of our village . firstly, organizing collecting garbage .for example , red box for medical rubbish , because it is dangerous ,it is toxic materials . yellow box for plastic , white box for glass , and pink box for other trash . This way is to facilitates classification of garbage and transfering each sorts of rubbish to specific place .

Secondly , recycling waste . after collecting it , then transport it to factories to recycle it to useful materials , we can use it again in all aspects in our life .

Lastly , workshops about conservation of environment to increase environmental awareness among people to encourage them to take care of their city , and how they can recycle some rubbish to beneficial objects to exploit it at home .

In addition , many residents in our town have launched initiative which target to clean up our village, and plant many trees on the streets to keep the environment clean and protect our generation from pollution . moreover , to attract tourists to visit us .consequences , jumping number of visitors to our town , and reducing pollution which causes several diseases . furturemore saving cost of treatment because of decreasing number of patients . In conclusion, we look forward to being our village free from pollution and keep our health and enjoy in pure air where our children will grow up .

justivy03 - / 2265  
Jun 15, 2015   #2
- A Health is an important part in our life, so our priority in our city is an environment , and people consider keeping our environment and work together to preservation of the environment .Rephrasing this sentence to;

Health is an important part of our life and the best way to achieve good health is to preserve our environment and work together to make it better.


- Therefore , the municipality and The ministry of environment put regulations and instructions to take care of our village .

- firstlyFirst , organizing the collection ofcollecting garbage.

- This way is to facilitatesfacilitate classification of garbage and transferingtransferring each sorts of rubbish to specific place .

- SecondlyNext , recycling waste . after collecting it , then transport it to factories to recycle it to useful materials , we can use it again in all aspects in our life .

- Lastly , workshops about conservation of environment to increase environmental awareness among people to encourage them to take care of their city , and how they can recycle some rubbish to beneficial objects to exploit it at home .

- Consequences , jumping number of visitors to our town , and reducing pollution which causes several diseases .

- furturemoreFurthermore saving cost of treatment because of decreasing number of patients .

M19, first of all welcome to EssayForum, I believe this is the first article I read from you.
So, I made some corrections, most of it grammar corrections and the following;

- I know this may be a draft writing for you, but get use to writing your sentences correctly, start by capitalizing the first letter of the first word of the sentence.

- spell checker should always be turned on

- mind your spacing and your punctuation marks too

- proof read

Keep writing

Cheers!!!
sally_922 3 / 6  
Jun 16, 2015   #3
Well not in the whole paragraph, just the first line. The words are not connected that well which later on was corrected by @justivy. That is it.


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