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People can solve important problems by themselves



cherry199371 1 / 3  
Nov 15, 2011   #1
Just part of my essay.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: People can solve important
problems by themselves or with the help from their family members so there's no need for the government to help them.

If you are getting in trouble who you are like to ask for help? Asking Your parents or other family members to help you? Or you like you solve by yourself ? Or ask the government Answers toward those questions vary widely. Some people believe that we should ask our parent and other relative to help. However, others are strongly believe that we should ask the government to help. I give my opinion to the latter one. Here are the reasons.

First of all, the government is more powerful than our family members. When we meet some problems we will do some wrong things that we hard to control. In the real word, we always meet some like this, that the hospital, some doctors are give you some wrong pills while they feel tired or very busy, especially in the evening. For example, my brother, once, he has headache. He did not very like to see the doctor, but in the evening he can not tolerant the ache so he go to the locate hospital to find the doctors for help. Due to the doctor worked all day, in that time(evening) she feels extremely tired and give my brother wrong pills. After ate the pills my brother feel even bad, and my father send his to the emergence department. The next day my patents ans some family members went to the hospital to find the doctor, after a few minute talked the fight with each other. Eventually the doctor asks the police. The police asked my family to apologize to the doctor. Although the origin fault is not my family, the police said we should asked the police to help. So from this thing I know that when we meet some problems we should find the police first because they are more power than us.

breakingRenee 5 / 11  
Nov 15, 2011   #2
i think you should clearly state you point of view from the first paragraph so the reader knows exactly what's to come in the next paragraph.
afroditi 1 / 3  
Nov 15, 2011   #3
I agree with breakingRenee. But I would also like to add that your essay needs some grammatical revision too.
If you are getting in trouble who you are like to ask for help? Asking Your parents or other family members to help you? Or you like you solve by yourself ? Or ask the government it should beIf you are in trouble who would you be proned to ask for help? Would you ask your parents or other family members for an advice or would you prefer to solve it on your own? Or would you ask the government?


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