IELTS: Should people take care of others_Discuss?

Some people think that the world is now one large village and we are all responsible for each other. Others, however, argue that people in other countries should look after their own people and not be concerned with other countries.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In the era of globalization, there has been a dispute over whether the world is now a home to everyone and people should be responsible for each other or each country should only take care of its own people.

First of all, it must be noted that nations taking care of their own citizens has some certain advantages and disadvantages. On the plus side, governors of such nations will be able to focus on developing their countries thoroughly. Not having to be concerned with other nations, governments can save time and labour to solve domestic problems. For example: they may invest budget in improving the traffic infrastructure, medical services or schooling systems, which certainly elevates the citizens' living standards. On the minus side, however, this leads to a lack of connection and co-operation with other countries and as a consequence it will result in various problems. This is especially true when there is famine or natural disasters. As a matter of fact, if Haiti had not had a good and friendly relationship with other nations, the Haitian people and government would not have been able to overcome such a devastating and destructive earthquake a few years ago without their help.

Meanwhile, other people favour the notion that the world is now one large village and therefore, all of us have to take responsibility for others. Some skeptics believe that such interdependence will create unfair distribution of wealth among poor and rich countries and accordingly, poor countries will forever rely on rich ones for basic necessities. Nevertheless, it is strongly supported by many others that not all nations are self-sufficient in finance or medical facilities. Hence, people taking care of one another will make it possible for all to fill the gap between the rich and the poor, and every country can develop fully, which is crucially beneficial to citizens.

In conclusion, my opinion lies between these two extremes. It is necessary for all of us to look after others, especially in times of hardship, but also it must be borne in mind that each country must endeavour to treat their citizens to their basic needs before trying to help others.

Please give me some feedback. Any comments are appreciated.

An introduction has three main parts :1) Motivator/General background: Start the introduction with an attractive statement which gives some general information about the topic; 2) Thesis statement: This is what you wrote. Thesis statement gives the main idea of the essay and for writing that you should reword the topic; 3) Blueprint: What is going to be discussed in the body. Blueprint connects the introduction to the body. It is similar to neck which connects your head to your body :D.

In fact what you wrote as an introduction just included the second part (Thesis statement)


In this type of topic, you should write the conclusion as follows:
1) Restate the topic; 2) Give your opinion; 3) clincher (ending statement)

Hope this helps
Good luck
Ahmad

Nowadays , the entire of countries live in difficult situations , so the first step is that every country should look after their own people .
The government of every country has a responsability to build infrastructure , provide security , improve education , encourage investements .
When the general situation is acceptable and citizens are satisfied , after that , countries has to provide help and assistance for others.
In fact , there are rich and poor countries since long time , but the situation still constant .
It's necessary for poor countries to do great efforts to improve people's life .

Oh thank you for the comment! I'll rewrite it right now!

How about these:Intro: Nowadays many countries are undergoing the process of globalistion with the involvement in various international organisations. Accordingly, there has been a dispute over whether the world is now a home to everyone and people should be responsible for each other or each country should only take care of its own people. This essay will discuss both these opinions.

Conclusion: In conclusion, it remains an argument to many people whether people should all be responsible for others or each country should take care of their own people. My opinion lies between these two extremes. It is necessary for all of us to look after others, especially in times of hardship, but also it must be borne in mind that each country must endeavour to treat their citizens to their basic needs before trying to help others.

Do you have any suggestions for the clincher?
Thank you!
@Karim: Thanks for the suggestion.

Thanks dumi! I've been struggling with that word.

The easiest way for writing a clincher is a prediction. For example:" If governments urge themselves to help both their own people and the individuals from other countries, the world will be a better place for living".

OR
"Nevertheless, different people have different attitudes toward the issue and it seems that they will not reach an agreement in the future" :D

U can write a question: However, there is still this question that "Which policy should governments an authorities take and which one is really true?". More investigations on the different aspects of this question may answer it in the future.

Do you think these clinchers are appropriate?

Absolutely! I will consider your suggestions and write my own version for the clincher. Thank you so much, Ahmad!