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IELTS- In some countries people are not taking care of their elderly relatives


clarkmc 3 / 17  
Sep 1, 2012   #1
It would be greatly appreciated if you could help me by proofreading my essay especially my grammar and vocabulary applications. =)

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In some countries people are not taking care of their elderly relatives instead trained professionals are used to care for the elderly. Do you see this as a positive development or a negative development?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

senility among professionals



At present, elderly population is increasing at a very fast rate. In fact, in some developing countries Home Cares are apparently becoming more popular in accommodating the needs of the older people. Some people argue that this development has been beneficial for both the elderlies and their relatives. In this essay, I will outline these benefits.

Nursing homes are employed with well experienced staff members, whose mission is to provide the basic needs of their residents through a 24 hour wellness program. These include: medical management and promoting continuous performance of their daily life activities. In UK, for example, many families would sent their elders to a nursing home to meet their essential needs. The nursing home then does all the support in managing their daily medications, complete balance meals and assistance in some productive activities such as gardening, painting and sit-down games. Relatives are allowed to visit them any day they prefer and take part with the activities. Thus, the feeling of joy and contentment are being experienced by the residents of the Home Care.

One of the benefits that the younger relatives are gaining from this development is that they are able to perform well with their other duties such as career and child rearing . For instance, an employee could work without worries, knowing their aged mother or father are well looked after in the nursing home. In additional, this will give them the opportunity to involve themselves to some pleasurable activities. They will have the liberty to carry out their planned endeavors. Therefore, the social life of the younger relatives are compensated with the assurance that their love ones are well attended.

In conclusion, for the reason of contentment and assurance, it is clear that elderlies that are managed by skilled professionals is considered a favorable development that is helpful to the aged people and their relatives. Provided that the older members of the society would still feel the attachment and care from their love ones.
amitt - / 80  
Sep 1, 2012   #2
Nice job, It is also related to your profession so, you have lot to say lol.
Good luck
OP clarkmc 3 / 17  
Sep 1, 2012   #3
I took your suggestion. I got the question it from ielts-blog email they've just sent me today.
OP clarkmc 3 / 17  
Sep 1, 2012   #4
It would be greatly appreciated if you could help me by proofreading my essay especially my grammar and vocabulary applications. =)
amitt - / 80  
Sep 1, 2012   #5
Relatives (there their kith & kins)
OP clarkmc 3 / 17  
Sep 1, 2012   #6
thanks =)

& their whose mission is to provide the basic needs of their residents through a 24 hour wellness program.

- what do you mean by this?

This These include: medical management and promoting continuous(regular) performance of their daily life activities

- i would use these instead of this because I was pertaining to the basic needs which is plural.
amitt - / 80  
Sep 1, 2012   #7
& their whose mission is to provide the basic needs of their residents through a 24 hour wellness program.
Here "their" means nursing homes
amitt - / 80  
Sep 1, 2012   #8
can't we say this includes : medical management and promoting regular performance of their daily life activities???


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