Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


IELTS Writing Task 2: Some people think children should start school at a very early age



vuduyan8 1 / -  
Feb 25, 2024   #1
Some people think children should start school at a very early age, but others believe they should not go to school until they are older. Discuss both views.

Whether a children should start their formal education as early as possible or delay it until they are older has become a controversy topic. Personally, I believe an early commencement of schooling is more lucrative for children.

There are several cogent reasons for a youth to start school earlier. Undeniably, the younger as an individual is, the higher ability he/she has to acquire new competencies and knowledge. In fact, scientific studies have shown that much brain development occurs in the initial five years after birth, as it is called as 'The Golden Age'. Hence, if a child start school at age 3 to 5, they can take better advantage of this crucial learning period and improve their learning outcomes. Moreover, children who start their education early tend to have better social and soft skills compared. Besides this, it also benefits parents lacking time to look after and educate their children. During the daytime, they can focus on their work, while, simultaneously, their child can learn from their teachers and peers.

However, several people advocate a later start to formal schooling for various reasons. In some cases, it might create a in-family mental seperation. A schoolchild is likely to have less time interacting with their parents. As a result, the longer this situation persists, the greater indifference from the child towards their upbringers. In addition, it might be more beneficial for some children to have a childhood in which they can cultivate their own skills and interests through normal activities at home.

All in all, both arguments have personal reasons to emerge. Nevertheless, in my perspective, being sent to school early would improve a person in many ways. Not to mention, in today's society, while not at school, many children tend to lead an unhealthy lifestyle as their free time is devoted to electronic devices, which gradually isolate them from the outside world. Therefore, I believe that it would be well-advised that parents send their children to school at an early age.

I appreciate all feedbacks & thanks for your feedback!

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15461  
Feb 27, 2024   #2
There is a lack of proper comparison discussion in this compare and contrast + personal opinion essay. The writing is based mostly on a personal opinion throughout. The writer has not considered the public opinion in comparison to his personal point of view in each paragraph. So the compare and contrast aspect of the discussion requirement has not been met by the writer. It is important that the writer use proper third person pronouns are used in every paragraph so that the separation of opinions will be clear to the reader. First person and third person pronoun usage are a key part of the GRA scoring consideration in this type of essay writing.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2: Some people think children should start school at a very early age
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳