Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach young persons how to be a good parent



ad_ei 2 / 2  
May 4, 2016   #1
Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent.
Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent.

Nowadays learning process mostly occur at schools so it is important for schools to focus on different aspects of learning like social behavior or being a good parent in future.

Although some say that it is not necessary to teach students to be a good parents; others, including myself, strongly disagree.
First of all, it is claimed that it is so essential for students to prepare to be a good father or mother, because people learn better when they are children. Most psychologists believe that students learn better than older people. It is usually claimed that social skills, just like language skills, can be learnt effectively at the early ages at school.

Another reason for this idea is that, if a parents of a child do not behave so good, teacher can learn this child how to behave as a good parent in future. For instance; when parents of a child don't do their duties as parents, this child imitate their behavior at his/her future life. With teaching useful tips about being a good parent, schools can avoid children from mimicking their parents behavior.

Finally, some say that school is the best place for children to learn about how to behave with their children in future, since students are not so busy in comparison with adults. In university and at work people do not have enough time to learn about these issues, but students have enough time to practice how to be a good person in society and family.

In conclusion, based on the ideas presented in the paragraphs above, I personally believe that, it is a good opinion to teach students about their future duties as a father or mother, because they learn better at these ages and have more time for learning. Schools can teach different skills that they need for their future. like how to behave with their children, how to prepare them for school, how to take care of them, how to learn them social skills and so on.

jingning29 1 / 2  
May 5, 2016   #2
a good parents
at the early ages at in school. (Better to use in)
a parents of a child (parents mean 2 cannot put a )
suxiaojing 13 / 18  
May 5, 2016   #3
Hi,Azi:

I'd like to give you some suggestions.

Firstly--Nowadays learning process mostly occur at schools so it is important for schools to focus on different aspects of learning like social behavior or being a good parent in future.

Although some say that it is not necessary to teach students to be a good parents;others, including myself, strongly disagree.

These two sentences, you should put into one paragraph. Because the first paragraph is to introduce the background, others' opinions and your own opinion.

Also, I notice that you write three paragraphs to support you idea.It is ok. But you should mention the idea you don't agree with to show why you oppose it.This way can make your essay stronger.

Besides, I think you still have space to improve your vocabulary and try to use some complex sentences.

Hope that can help you !


Home / Writing Feedback / Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach young persons how to be a good parent
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳