IELTS TASK 2: Some people think that the government should pay one of the parents

stay at home to look after your children - the government will pay you

There is no doubt that children at early age required an extra care. Some people argue that the government should provide funds to one of the parents to care take of their children by staying at home. I will discuss the merits and demerits of policy in my essay.

On the one hand, one of the negative aspects of this policy is this that it increases the conflicts among the family. This is because if both the parents have a prominent education qualification, then they both want to continue their career. Therefore, it will be the tough situation for them that which one will sacrifice their job and look after their children. Furthermore, money is not the only thing for which individual works, there is also the passion which drives them for their job. For instance, one of the newspapers gave evidence through survey that more than 60 percent both parents want to work after marriage. Thus, use of this policy might create problem in families.

On the other hand, positive aspect of this policy is that the children will get the enormous care and will grow in a healthy environment provided by one of their parent. The reason for this is if one of the parents stay at home and at the same time gets paid by the government for same, this will automatically relax their mind and they will joyfully spend their time with their kids. For example, according to the survey done by the Nascom surveyor company it is found that those children who spend full time with their parents are more emotionally attached with them in comparison to others. As a consequence of this, strong bond will be developed in the family.

In conclusion, while there are some disadvantages of the policy like it may result in dispute among parents due to their career aspect, it also has advantage like the kids will get more love and care which results in a happy family.

I need atleast 7 band in IELTS please hep me to improve by tough marking. Thanks

Mayank, you are close to getting a 7. This particular essay can garner you an overall score of 6. You were held back by the improper grammar formation of your sentences. That scored you a 5. Complex sentences are not yet your area of expertise and the essay shows your potential to develop that side of your writing style. Learn to develop complete thoughts in your sentences. Right now, the sentences require further development because your presentations are not as completely informative as it can be. If you want to further increase the score for your essay, prove that you fully understand the requirements by using personal experiences to justify your line of reasoning instead of information that requires research or cannot easily be identified as something common to the target audience. Rather than presenting information gained from newspaper surveys, which become questionable because you do not properly cite the reference for the information, you should have used yourself as an example instead. You could have imagined how different your upbringing could have been if you had one parent staying at home to guide your development from childhood. Would it have been a good or bad thing for you? By discussing that as your second line of reason, you would have created the impression that you fully analyzed the information and understood how the proposal might positively or negatively affect the upbringing of the child, who is the main focus of this discussion, not the career ambition of the parents.

Thanks a lot @Holt.

I will work on complex sentences and try to complete the sentences with proper thoughts and also try to improve in grammar while forming a sentences.