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Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others are not against it



whisper 1 / -  
Jul 7, 2021   #1

opinion about dangerous activities



It is a common belief that extreme sports should be prohibited by the authorities,while other people claim that individuals should be given more liberty to participate in any physical activity and sport .From my perspective,I firmly believe that people should have the right to enjoy such sport as they want.

On the one hand,the principal reasons in favour of a ban on hazardous sports is that such activities are usually accompanied by a high chance of serious injury or death.The extreme sports'players might become disabled for the rest of their life or even get killed.A racer,for instance,is always participate in hazardous race or perform the incredible skills which may endanger their physical.Furthermore,various dangerous activities such as boxing represent violence which can deteriorate viewers'mentality.Thus,these sports'viewers,particularly adolescents,would have the a mental aberration and do the improper behaviours.

On the other hand,although numerous repercussions that extreme sports can bring,such sports should not be forbidden as players are likely to derive benefits from them.First and foremost,people at various age are usually captivated by the risky because them effectively help the players to relieve stress.This is because extreme sports can bring invigorating experience for players.For example, climbing enthusiasts would have delighted feeling when they reach the pinnacle of the mountain which is the amazing feat in their life.Secondly,people who participate in these activities have to undertake rigorous training to ensure that they have enough experience to take up these hazardous sports.Therefore,the accident rate would significantly reduce.

In conclusion,although extreme sports may be detrimental to the players,they are indispensable in the life.I totally think that people should have the right to take part in any sport they want.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15344  
Jul 8, 2021   #2
The essay uses a 3 reasoning format presentation. Explain the public opinion based on publicly known reasons. Refer to the group belief based on group pronouns to indicate that the writer is analyzing the validity of the opinion as a part of his personal opinion developement.

The paragraph may start with " I understand that those in support of (opinion) do so because they believe ... " Thus removing the personal opinion reference of the writer, making the paragraph focus on the public discussion. The 3rd paragraph may use personal 1st person references to the personal insight of the writer.

This essay lacks opinion separation as it appears to represent 2 discussion points of the writer rather than 2 public opinions with a personal insight provided. The comparative essay format was not properly used in the presentation. This is should be a 3 comparison points essay discussion.

The writer is improperly using an apostrophe throughout the essay, Further review of proper punctuation usage, overall is needed.


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