Please give me a score and all your suggestions after you read my essay !!!!!!! I wanna get band 7!!!! I would appreciate !!!!!!
ESSAY: Some people think personal happiness is directly related to economic success, while others believe this depends on other factors. Discuss.
The issue of whether an enormous fortune serves as a crucial factor and prerequisite of personal happiness has sparked off an intense debate.Some people claim that happiness is directly linked to wealth and fortune, while others argue that other factors should be taken into consideration as well. In this essay, I am aim at discussing both opinions and giving my own perspective.
On the one hand, earning a vast amount of money gives individuals a sense of fulfillment. It is simply because nowadays, people become increasingly money-worshiping, especially in the material world. They tend to compare with others by buying luxurious products such as luxury cars to satisfy their vanity. It is out of question that possessing a large fortune is acknowledged as a critical criterion in the realm of assessing personal happiness and the development of career.In addition, it is undeniable that being successful in making money can enable individuals to enjoy a comfortable and convenient life. One example will suffice to illustrate this view.The rich are in a position to have a vacation in summer resorts with their families. The living qualities and standards of the wealthy, unquestionably, are largely developed and elevated.
On the other hand, other factors also contribute to improving happiness of individuals. To begin with, people who are satisfied with their jobs tend to feel happy, even though their salaries are moderate. This kind of happiness derives from the passion of their jobs and the awareness of the value of their works. Additionally, people who have relatively high emotion-quotient incline to be happy. Unarguably, individuals who are proficient at handling personal relationship and strengthening the bond of their families always feel happy. However, their happiness cannot be purchased by money.
To conclude, I concede that a good fortune is of vital significance in terms of guaranteeing personal happiness.Nevertheless, I am still convinced that other factors are also required to be taken into account such as positive attitudes towards life because they are priceless and indispensable in daily life.
ESSAY: Some people think personal happiness is directly related to economic success, while others believe this depends on other factors. Discuss.
The issue of whether an enormous fortune serves as a crucial factor and prerequisite of personal happiness has sparked off an intense debate.Some people claim that happiness is directly linked to wealth and fortune, while others argue that other factors should be taken into consideration as well. In this essay, I am aim at discussing both opinions and giving my own perspective.
On the one hand, earning a vast amount of money gives individuals a sense of fulfillment. It is simply because nowadays, people become increasingly money-worshiping, especially in the material world. They tend to compare with others by buying luxurious products such as luxury cars to satisfy their vanity. It is out of question that possessing a large fortune is acknowledged as a critical criterion in the realm of assessing personal happiness and the development of career.In addition, it is undeniable that being successful in making money can enable individuals to enjoy a comfortable and convenient life. One example will suffice to illustrate this view.The rich are in a position to have a vacation in summer resorts with their families. The living qualities and standards of the wealthy, unquestionably, are largely developed and elevated.
On the other hand, other factors also contribute to improving happiness of individuals. To begin with, people who are satisfied with their jobs tend to feel happy, even though their salaries are moderate. This kind of happiness derives from the passion of their jobs and the awareness of the value of their works. Additionally, people who have relatively high emotion-quotient incline to be happy. Unarguably, individuals who are proficient at handling personal relationship and strengthening the bond of their families always feel happy. However, their happiness cannot be purchased by money.
To conclude, I concede that a good fortune is of vital significance in terms of guaranteeing personal happiness.Nevertheless, I am still convinced that other factors are also required to be taken into account such as positive attitudes towards life because they are priceless and indispensable in daily life.
