Many people think that happiness is through to economic success. On the other hand, some people support the opinion that happiness caused by many factors. This essay is going to explain two statement and I give my own opinion.
It is commonly believe that personal happiness is depend on financial support. Financial is indicating with money and large of land. Almost all problem can solve problem by money. Some people saying that many accounts in bank and have big salary are symbolize of happiness. Rich people have many advantages when they have more financial base such as have purchase some cars, homes and shops. In urban community for example, rich people represent with a luxury with if they live in flat, apartment, and palace. On the other hand, people having car and eating in luxury place caused by financing support. In addition, land is essential in rural community
However, another people believe that happiness not only economic factor but also many factors. There are social, culture, psychology factors there some essential items by going happier. Nowadays, networking, trust, being love are vital in social and culture. It looks at some people have good relation with another in business, education and so on. However, family time, travel and need for achievement are related to in psychology. People believe that have quality time and holiday with family will support mentally health.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that statement happiness directly not only related to economic success but also many factors such as social and psychology aspect.
hiii @PHA2016 , it seems that you have some errors on how to use passive voice and s-v agreement. So, here my suggestion.
- Many people think that happiness is through to economic success. -> "Many people assumed happiness when we succeed economically"
- ... support the opinion that happiness is caused by many factors (passive voice)
- This essay is going to explain two statements and I give my own opinion -> redundant,
you can re-write your text "This essay is going to explain two statements and I am going to give my opinion" . (parallel structure)
- It is commonly believe that personal happiness is depend ... -> "It is commonly believed that personal happiness is depend on financial support which is indicated by having a lot of money and land".
- Almost all problem can solve problem by money -> "Many problems can be solved by money" .
..........
Keep writing and break a leg.
Regards
