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Writing task 2: Some people think that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad.


daniellee94 1 / -  
Aug 15, 2023   #1
Some people think that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad.
Others, however, think that life of elderly in the modern world is much better than it was in the past.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.



Aging is a natural process for all human beings and getting old is inevitable. However, many people take a negative attitude toward this fact, stating that becoming old is bad, especially in the modern world. Others believe that old people's life condition is much improved nowadays compared to how it used to be decades ago. This essay will elaborate on both views.

On the one hand, it cannot be denied that aging is something we all want to avoid. First of all, this process results in the deterioration of our body's functions. Specifically, the immunity system becomes less effective in old age, making us more vulnerable to diseases. Besides, an elderly's muscles are not as flexible as they used to be in his younger days, which put a constraint on his motions and deprives him of enjoyable activities such as sports. Secondly, getting old in this modern world might be a terrifying scenario for many people, because it puts them at risk of being neglected by their family members. The popular rushing lifestyle leads to young people's immersion in work, which simultaneously robs them of caring time for the elderly in their families. According to a recent survey, a number of old people reported that they felt lonely in their homes.

On the other hand, improvements in science and health care services have made the life of old people much more bearable nowadays. New medicines and medical treatments are invented for diseases once incurable in the past, leading to an increase in human beings' life span. Moreover, social welfare and public facilities are also enhanced, giving the elderly more opportunities to be cared for by social employees or volunteers, when their family members are busy. Additionally, the government of each country has invested more and more in building nursing homes with suitable infrastructure, which enables old people to enjoy their lives with several intriguing activities in a community of other old individuals. Not only does this solve the issue of loneliness, but it also helps them realise that getting old is not entirely bad. Last but not least, technological advancements also provide the elderly with several innovative ways to entertain themselves. For example, even when home alone, one old person can still enjoy recreational activities online, using an electronic device with internet connection, which was not available in the past.

In conclusion, although getting old is by no means a pleasant process because of its detrimental impacts on one's physical and mental health, I believe that old people have a much better life nowadays than in the past. The continuous development in science, technologies, health care services, etc., assures my belief and gives me a positive perspective about my own later stage of life.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,662 4753  
Aug 21, 2023   #2
This essay will elaborate on both views.

You are missing the personal opinion. The first paragraph is therefore incomplete. You cannot receive full scoring considerations in this case. Review the writing instructions at all times. Check the instructions against your content. What is missing? Does your response align with the writing instructions? Make sure that you accurately meet the writing requirements. Specially in the TA section. Never miss a scoring consideration like you did here. Your preliminary score will suffer for it.

I believe that old people have a much better life nowadays than in the past

You cannot state your personal opinion as a part of the conclusion. This must be included in the reasoning paragraphs because the conclusion is meant to only wrap up the discussion presentation. Nothing more. So your essay could receive a failing mark because you did not follow the writing instructions.


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