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Some people think that schools should teach young students about the role of money.



hongha166 1 / -  
Sep 5, 2024   #1
Some people claim that the importance of money should be taught by educational institutions. Personally, I totally agree with this school of thought based on some reasons that are explained further in this essay.

In this day and age, financial education can be regarded as a part of holistic education that is essential for the future of students. And it is clear that schools should be the ones that provide them with a financial curriculum. Schools are known to be scientific in the way they teach, which they use proven methods and qualified teachers to deliver any piece of knowledge. These abilities help schools teach children about money in an academic manner that can provide deep insight regarding finance and avoid unwanted problems. This is why students should be potentially taught about managing and respecting money nowadays.

There are some compelling reasons why schools should deliver financial education for children. One of these is that this might help children acknowledge the definition and the value of money, leading to a deep comprehension of money savings. As a result, youngsters can feel grateful about what their parents provide and appreciate the things they already have. Another reason is that educating about financial matters can potentially develop children's money management skills and navigate their future. As being taught about finance at school age, students will be able to manage money and plan their personal budget, therefore wiser decisions which can adapt finance-related career orientation and future development

In conclusion, due to aforementioned reasons, I strongly believe that it is essential for students to be educated about the crucial role of finance and schools should be the ones who take that responsibility.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15393  
Sep 7, 2024   #2
The essay is too short. It does not meet the 250 minimum word count. There is a big possibility that you will receive deductions that will lower your final score. Will it cause you to fail the test? That will depend upon how well you do in terms of the other grading rubics. Some say that failing the word count guarantees a failing score. While that is true in some cases, if you do well enough in the remaining scoring sections, you might receive a passing but not high score. I am just worried about your preliminary TA score because you did not create a thesis sentence for your opinion statement. You should have stated the 2 reasons you will be discussing to establish the flow of discussion properly.

And

This is a connecting word that cannot be used to start a sentence. As a connecting word, it must connect 2 related ideas within the same sentence.

The reasoning paragraphs have ideas presented but lack proper development in terms of ideas and explanations. Therefore, the essay could get a failing score based on word count and incomplete explanation presentations.


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