Schools should be responsible only for teaching academic skills and not for teaching ethical and social values?
As nations confronting an issue of moral collapse, leaving the traditional form of education-academic orientation questioned, some people claim that proper balance should be found by the way of addressing more on ethic and social value in the process of teaching. While others think it should be best left up to their parents. I support the former opinion.
One of the reasons for my belief is that students of all ages spend more time at school than other places, so institutions are having profound influence on the modeling of students. In addition, the uniqueness of school is that it is akin to a community where it could be seen as the snapshot of children adult life, meaning some of their behaviour would, in all likelihood, be projected in to their life afterward. The stain found by the teacher on one's personality would be enlarged if the teacher had not making any efforts to mop it away. For example, if we take look at the school history of some convicts who committed a violent crime, we would be be able to amass an overwhelming body of evidence that shows that they treated their peers disrespectfully and intolerably, resulting in their wrongdoings years later.
Another reason for my belief is that with the bulging flow of information that need to be processed nowadays, the more they have learnt, the more skilled they would be, however, the issue that hoe to use the knowledge and skill to contribute to the best interest of society rather than doing harms to others for their own sake is a big conundrum, again, teachers play an vital role in engendering students to live up to their best potential for the benefits of society as whole.
In conclusion, although in an area of democratic society, people are allowed to be different with varied traits, that is not an excuse to rationalize disrespectful and intolerable behaviour, therefore, some basic values are obliging to be taught by the school.
This one is pretty good, band 7- 7.5 I would say. I myself just done the IELTS test last month BTW. Good luck!
As nations confronting an issue of moral collapse, leaving the traditional form of education-academic orientation questioned, some people claim that proper balance should be found by the way of addressing more on ethic and social value in the process of teaching. While others think it should be best left up to their parents. I support the former opinion.
1. strike is better than find ,strike a balance
2. leave up to ? or just leave to
One of the reasons for my belief is that students of all ages spend more time at school than other places, so institutions are having profound influence on the modeling of students . In addition, the uniqueness of school is that it is akin to a community where it could be seen as the snapshot of children adult life, meaning some of their behaviour would, in all likelihood, be projected in to their life afterward. The stain found by the teacher on one's personality would be enlarged if the teacher had not making any efforts to mop it away. For example, if we take look at the school history of some convicts who committed a violent crime, we would be be able to amass an overwhelming body of evidence that shows that they treated their peers disrespectfully and intolerably, resulting in their wrongdoings years later.
1. my suggestion: on modeling students. verb is powerful than n.
2. snashot means a piece of information that quickly gives you an idea of what the situation is like at a particular time.
i guess here u mean epitome, thing that shows on a small scale all the characteristics of sth much larger
3.grammar error.
Another reason for my belief is that with the bulging flow of information that need to be processed nowadays, the more they have learnt, the more skilled they would be , however, the issue that hoe to use the knowledge and skill to contribute to the best interest of society rather than doing harms to others for their own sake is a big conundrum, again, teachers play an vital role in engendering students to live up to their best potential for the benefits of society as whole.
1. they would be skills? supernature?aliens?
2. ur whole thrid paragraph consists one sentence...from the again, it starts the typical problem of run-on sentence
In conclusion, although in an area of democratic society , people are allowed to be different with varied traits, that is not an excuse to rationalize disrespectful and intolerable behaviour, therefore, some basic values are obliging to be taught by the school.
1. cut clutter....leave democratic society alone
strongly recommend the writer to read "the element of style"
socre 7-7.5 is overstated.
high-score IELTS writing features in depth and conciseness as well as vividness. hope it is helpful to u.
that's really helpful, thanks very much, i really appreciate it.
