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Some people think that there should be strict laws to control the amount of noise a person makes.


Nhutherelie 1 / -  
May 19, 2023   #1
[IELTS WRITING 1]
Some people think that there should be strict laws to control the amount of noise a person makes because of the disturbance it causes to people.

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.



It is true that noise pollution indeed causes disturbance to most people, so it is one of the issues that the government has faced. Then, the government should create strict rules to minimize the noise people make in the common. Creating strict rules has both advantages or disadvantages, which will be analyzed in this essay.

On the one hand, there are a variety of merits of people being banned to make noise in the common. The first benefit is that it helps people focus on their work or study. For example, the quality of work and study will improve a lot and the acquisition of information or knowledge will be faster and the ability to remember will be longer. Another important positive aspect is that the quiet space will help the brain relaxed. Therefore, after a period of rest for the brain, every people will be full of energy, mentally refreshed to complete the work in the best way.

On the other hand, there are also a host of problems of people being banned to make noise in the common. The first problem is that some businesses can not work with noise. Suppose that you are a construction worker and you must use big machines to fix and build roads or bridges, so it is very difficult to cancel loud noise. Another important negative aspect is that everyone has the freedom to do what they want, then they right to make noise. For example, celebrating a birthday or an event that can make a lot of noise for a short time is unavoidable.

In conclusion, there are clearly advantages and disadvantages to creating strict rules. However, that would also influence the freedom of everyone.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,956 4810  
May 21, 2023   #2
It is true that noise pollution indeed causes

Since this is a part of your personal opinion, it should not be located in the paraphrasing sentence/s. This should be incorporated into your writer's opinion sentence for more scoring effect. The prompt paraphrase must never be altered in a manner that would affect the original topic presentation, such as when you indicated the thoughts above.

Then, the government should create strict rules

Another paraphrasing error. You must indicate that other people believe this, it should not come across as your personal opinion since it was made clear in the original prompt that "some people" thought of this idea. By altering the reference point of the speaker, you will continue to lose points in terms of task accuracy.


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