RULES REGARDING noise suppression
Some people hold the belief that it is imperative to impose stringent regulations about noise pollution. While the opponents think that they could create as much noise on their own volition, I argue that the authority should take the lead to prevent this matter from getting worse.
On the one hand, although people make noise deliberately or unknowingly, it can be seen that noise is ubiquitous, especially in megacities. For instance, noise can be created by public vehicles, the deafening sound of domestic violence in some houses, or even the voice of the neighbor who loves to sing karaoke at home. The noise creators perceive these activities as trivial, so they will never count them as a problem. Some people who are exposed to different nuances of noise must feel irritated, however, few of them have the courage to contact the local authority for aid.
On the flip side, I hold a firm opinion that the government should impose some stringent regulations to deter this phenomenon. Firstly, only when the legislation comes into force, the quality of the residents lives get better. For instance, if college students need a quiet space for speculating on research, the decrease in noise will help them focus on their affairs. Secondly, the decline in noise pollution can lead to the gratification of foreigners who are eager to pay a visit to Vietnam. In Hochiminh City, the noise is reaching an alarming rate that fuels dissatisfaction among the visitors because they can hardly enjoy their trip.
To recapitulate, while people insist on creating as much noise as they wish, I opt for lessening the noise so that dwellers and foreign visitors likewise can have the best moments in their individual lives.
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on their own volition, I argue
You should not be combining your personal opinion in the public opinion restatement. That is because you are focused on delivering your personal point of view independently of the public view. Therefore, you need to do that individually, using a stand alone sentence that will merge with the writing instructions coming from the original prompt.
The lack of proper separation between the public opinion discussions and your personal opinion is what will lead to the C+C problems for this essay. You have to first explain the public opinion then support or oppose it in the same paragraph. There should be a proper mix of third person and first person pronoun usage in each reasoning paragraph to achieve that discussion clarity.
Due to the lack of proper discussion development, this essay cannot be given full scoring consideration. This is because you have not properly formatted the essay as I advised above. The examiner will look for the comprehensive discussion explanation when scoring your explanatory essay.