IELTS WRITING TASK 2- Some people think young people should be required to have full time education

Topic: Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some individuals argue that young generations should be requested to have full time education until they become adults. I totally agree with this school of thoughts because young people can gain thorough education to develop both their character and professional knowledge.
Firstly, teenager should be gained in-depth knowledge in their expertise to support their future career. Because full time education from school or at home can provide teenager with a vast majority of specific information in their favorite subject that would be cornerstones for their employment opportunities. In addition, they can intensively focus on their study without annoyed by external factors such as pressure from working environment. For example, quantum physic is a complicated major and required vast knowledge about theoretical physic, therefore, students must put all of their effort in studying during teenage to meet the requirements of this subject and look for job opportunities.
Moreover, teenagers have to fully develop in character and be mature to make wise decisions. Full time education can nurture the adolescent about basic morality, fostering them to avoid engaging in anti-social behaviors and being a good part of society. For instance, juveniles who commit crimes at the young age are not often provided holistic education which leads to mental issues and an inability to control their own behaviors.
In conclusion, I believe that full time education for teenage generations until they are 18 years old is crucial and must be widespread because it can improve future employment prospects for immature individuals and prevent youth criminals.

The term younger generations is too vague. Be more specific and limit the description to one closer to the prompt original. For example, you could have simply indicated, "school aged youngsters" to describe the age range if people being asked to stay in school.

You need to double check your phrase . This is a phrase always said without +S at the end because it refers to a single idea stemming from the original presentation. Strengthen your colloquialisms.


This is where you need a +S.

You seem to have a problem with plural and singular differentiation. Please review those rules to avoid future errors.

Your logic and reasoning skills are acceptable. The problem is mostly in your sentence structure, LR usage, and Gammar range and accuracy. 3 sections thar could very well cause you to fail this test.