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IELTS WRITING TASK 2: Today more and more people are using mobile phones and computers

Buivandat 2 / 3 1  
May 29, 2018   #1
Today more and more people are using mobile phones and computers. Thus, people are losing the ability to communicate face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?


communication ability is decreasing

It is true that the chance to communicate face to face among people is lacking because of the over-reliance on electronic devices such as computers and cell phones. In my opinion, I completely agree with this idea.

There are a variety of reasons why the utilization these technological gadgets frequently in current time is attributable to the lose of face-to-face communication ability. Firstly, individual time which is used to complete daily works such as communicating is definitely limited. If the individual time is spent excessively for accessing the internet or playing applications on smartphones, there will be a shortage of real conversations. Secondly, because of anything about current life is also shared through the Internet and mobile phones, people will have nothing to exchange when meeting their friends and family members. Instead of that, each of them chooses to keep his/her eyes glued to their modern gadgets while sitting together.

Apart from the practical reasons expressed above, there are some different reasons which also relate to the reduction of the chance to communicate directly. One reason is that the availability of social networks such as Facebook, Skype with appealing emotional icons makes people feel it no longer necessary to talk in person but chat online instead. The more signing in the social networks, the less hanging out with friends and family. Furthermore, several people who overuse these electronic devices can face mental and physical health problems, especially headache and heart disease. As a result, they would not feel healthy enough to have a chart with their colleagues and finally they choose to stay at home.

In conclusion, I believe that the increase of using these labour-saving appliances in today's life results in reducing the ability of direct communication.
TJLuschen - / 241 203  
May 29, 2018   #2
Hi, here are some suggestions for your essay:

It is true {when you say "it is true", you are already giving your opinion. So you are actually giving your opinion and then given it again. I think it is best to restate the prompt by stating this trend and acknowledging that people have different opinions about what it means, and then finish with your opinion} ...

reasons why the frequent utilization of these technological gadgets frequently in current time in recent years is attributable to the loss of face-to-face... {"the loss of the ability to communicate face-to-face" is better, but your whole sentence is wrong - the loss of communication is attributable to the cell phones, not vice versa}

Firstly, each individual's time ... daily tasks such ...

If the individual's time is spent excessively in accessing ...

Secondly, because any event or thought {try to avoid using "thing" or "anything" - be more specific and creative} aboutone's current life

meeting ... members in person. Instead of conversation, each ...

... as Facebook and Skype with appealing

The more often people sign in to their social networks, the less time they spend hanging out ... Furthermore, a significant number of {"several" seems too few - like only 4 or 5 people in the whole world} people ...

.., especially headaches and heart disease.

... to have a chat with their colleagues and in the end they ...

I believe that the increased use of these ... {"appliances" doesn't really work here - it means larger equipment like refrigerators and washing machines} in today's life results in reducing the ability to directly communicate.
OP Buivandat 2 / 3 1  
Jul 1, 2018   #3
That is very kind of you! thank you so much!
Your suggestion is extremely helpful to me.
Hope that you will still spend a little of your spare time for my next essays.

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