The percentage of citizen access to recent technology in Britain throughout eight years.

Domestic Access to Modern Technology in UK

The chart provides information about the percentage of citizen access to recent technology in Britain throughout eight years.

Overall, there was a noticeable upward trend in the access of modern technology in UK. As regards, the access of CD player and home computer was up over the year, rising gradually from almost 30% and 60% in 1996/97 to above 50% and 80% in 2002/03 for each device. However, it is noticeable that the use of CD player was 30 % higher than the use of home computer.

Likewise, the access of mobile phone and internet also went up by varying patterns. Between 1996/97 to 1998/99, the use of mobile phone rose slightly from nearly 20% to 30%. Further, it experienced an erratic increase, rising approximately 20% twice from roughly 27% to 45% in 1998 to 1999 and around 46 % to 65 % in 2000 to 2001. On the other hand, it almost leveled off from nearly 45% to 46% in 1999 to 2000 then rose slightly from around 65% to 70% respectively in 2001 to 2002. Meanwhile, internet access experienced a sudden increase from approximately 10% to above 40% between 1998/99 to 2002/03.

It can be seen that the use of CD player showed the highest percentage otherwise the internet access illustrated the lowest percentage but the most remarkable upward trend occurred in a short time.

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Hi Wahyu, as I move along with your essay, what I notice first is the title of the analysis, most of the students will start with the analysis and this is fine but of course a title will complete the analysis.

- in Great Britain throughoutduring a period of eight years.

- As regardsit is regarded ,

- Furthermore ,

I believe the analysis you made was done in a manner that it will be followed and understood by the reader. It is written simple and the data is explained in an accurate manner.

Overall, it is a good analysis of the given graph and I hope the corrections I made helped a little. For future reference though, when writing an analysis, keep it to a minimum number of paragraph, I say 3 in this case in particular, as well as keep the numbers in a uniform format, this way you will be able to picture a formal analysis suited for it's purpose.

Hi Wahyu. You have a great essay. Let me give suggestion for your essay. Please correct me if I am wrong

The chart provides information about the percentage of citizen access to recent technology in Britain throughout eight years.

Overall, there was a noticeable upward trend in the access of modern technology in UK . As regards, the access of CD player and home
You should not put "overall" in the first body. I think you should put it in the introduction.

It can be seen that the use of CD player showed the highest percentage otherwise the internet access illustrated the lowest percentage but the most remarkable upward trend occurred in a short time.

It is a conclusion. I suggest you to put this conclusion in introduction

I try to rewrite your introduction
The line chart illustrates the percentage of citizen access to recent technology in the UK from 1996 to 2003. Overall, there was a noticeable upward trend in the access of modern technology in the UK. However, the use of CD player showed the highest percentage, the internet access illustrated the lowest percentage.

Actually, Britain and UK are different.
Great Britain (or simply Britain) is made up of England, Scotland, Wales.
United Kingdom (UK) is made up of Great Britain and Northern Ireland
So, you cannot paraphrase the "UK" with the "Britain"

The last, I suggest you that every paragraph must be consisted of at least three sentences.

Thank you