Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

IELTS-TASK1: The percentage of happiness ratings of married and unmarried people in the US


Nofrinorman 27 / 17 8  
Nov 26, 2015   #1
A survey of married and unmarried people and how children affect the cheer of married couples in the US is presented in the two bar charts. Overall, it can be seen that married people feel happier than unmarried people. Patently, most of them can be happier since they have youngsters, especially children aged under 18.

First, a highest of rating exists for married people aged 18-29 at 45 percent. There is a similar number of married people aged 30-49 and aged 65 and over is at 44 percent, while a small difference of percentage at 40 percent of married people aged 50-64. On the other hand, unmarried people aged 65 and over seems happiest at 34 percent among others, which the unmarried people in the age of 30 to 49 is at 22 percent and the similar percentage of unmarried between people aged 18-29 and aged 50-64 is at 21 percent.

Turning to ecstasy ratings for married couples who have children. Parents' children aged under 18 do not show a distant difference of percentage for parents without children, it is only one percent to indicate their felicity. Then, there is the lowest percentage of parents who have children aged 18+ only at 41 percent.



hasdymath 11 / 25  
Nov 26, 2015   #2
hi, your writing is well organized. as a readers I can understand easily from first sent to last sent. Also, you have included introduction, thesis statement, body, and closing paragraph called conclusion. Yet, You need some advise to increase your score. Here they are :

in the first sent
- great rephrase

A survey of married and unmarried people and how children affect the cheer of married couples in the US is presented in the two bar charts.

- You should cover both charts, as I see, this is just for the second table

Turning to ecstasy ratings for married couples who have children. Parents' children aged under 18 do not show a distant difference of percentage for parents without children,

in the last paragraph
- an umbiguous subject,

Parents' children aged under 18Parents with children aged under 18 do not show a distant difference of percentage for parents without children,
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Nov 26, 2015   #3
Hi Nofri, please note the corrections to the grammar in your essay. Your work is really getting better and I do not doubt that with enough practice, your grammar mistakes will also be lessened. Keep up the good work :-)

A survey of married and unmarried people and how children affect the cheer JOY of married couples in the US is presented in the two bar charts. Overall, it can be seen that married people feel happier than unmarried people. Patently, m Most of them can be happier since they have youngsters, especially children aged under 18.

First, a highest of rating exists for married people aged 18-29 at 45 percent. There is a similar number of married people aged 30-49 , WHILE and THOSE aged 65 and over is ARE at 44 percent, while THERE IS a small difference of percentage at 40 percent of married people aged 50-64. On the other hand, u Unmarried people aged 65 and over seems happiest at 34 percent among others, which the REPRESENTED BY THE unmarried people in FROM the age of 30 to 49 is at 22 percent and the similar percentage of unmarried between people aged 18-29 and aged 50-64 is at 21 percent.

Turning to ecstasy ratings for married couples who have children. Parents' children aged under 18 do not show a distant difference of percentage for parents without children, it is only one percent to indicate their felicity HAPPINESS. Then, there is the lowest percentage of parents who have children aged 18+ only at ONLY 41 percent.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS-TASK1: The percentage of happiness ratings of married and unmarried people in the US