The percentage of non-working females in England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland - IELTS 1

The graph below shows female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates the percentage of unemployed women in the four countries of the United Kingdom (England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland) in the years 2013 and 2014.

Overall, in 2014, the rates of non-working females increased in Scotland, however, it decreased in England, Wales and Northern Ireland. The highest rate was in England in 2013, while the lowest rate was in Northern Ireland in 2014.

In 2014, the rate of unemployed females in England, Wales and Northern Ireland went down. It fell to 6.5% in England, 5.0% in Wales and 4.6% in Northern Ireland which made the country of lowest female unemployment rate of the four countries.

On the other hand, Scotland was the only country which witnessed an increase in the female unemployment rate in 2014 compared by 2013 by a percentage of 0.6%. The rate was 6.1% in 2013 but it rose to 6.7% in 2014.

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Nour, if you keep doing this, I am afraid that it will be harmful towards your band score. You accidentally created exactly the minimum '150 sentences'. This is dangerous in many ways.

Firstly, if it is a handwriting, please remember that examiner is also a human, 1 or 2 words are possibly miscounted. Then, they will think that your essay is less than 150 words, so they just give you a band score which is LOWER than 5.0 directly. This is because you didn't fulfill task achievement properly. Secondly, each paragraph of your essay is also TOO SHORT. This can be dangerous towards your score. I have given you a constructive feedback about this issue on your previous essay. You can take a look, read, and follow through the feedback.

There you are Nour, I hope you can take my feedback into your consideration for the next practice if possible. :)

Keep Writing and Good Luck :)