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The percentage of three kind of items which were purchased by consumers



syamsiahRahim 9 / 15  
Apr 25, 2017   #1
the table below gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002.

spending money for goods in europe



The table illustrates the percentage of three kind items (food, dresses, and education or entertainment) which were spent by consumers in Ireland, Italy, Spain, Sweden and Turkey in 2002. Overall, it is interesting to notice that, the leisure or education was the item which had the lowest spending money that consumers spent in those countries.

According to the given data, the first item is food and tobaccos in five countries. The highest expenditure is Turkey is accounted 28.91% while the lowest is Sweden who just spent 15.77% on this item. Furthermore, For Clothing and footwear, People of All of those countries spent just between 5 and 9 % that Italian became the highest percentage to spent money on dresses item.

The last item is expenditure in leisure activity and education by 5 different countries. Although Turkey spent just below 5% for this item, It become the highest expenditure and the least amount spent by Spain, It had accounted for 1.98%. However, the spending money for this item by all country less than 5% and become the lowest expenditure than the other items.


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Diahkn93 6 / 9  
Apr 25, 2017   #2
hai @syamsiahRahim

i really like you describe the table
none figures are missing to be informs.
but i don't really understand this sentence For Clothing and footwear, People of All of those countries spent just between 5 and 9 % that Italian became the highest percentage to spent money on dresses item you maybe can change like this manufacture products, overall obtain between 5 and 9 % while Italian consume the highest percentage on it

you have very good on grammar i just found one mistake is It become the highest expenditure i should be becomes or became.

excellence work miss @syamsiahRahim
good luck for others task :)
restuanlubis 4 / 7  
Apr 25, 2017   #3
@syamsiahRahim
Your essay manage is going with well. Explaining data is solid,
the overview I thought it is repetition in the last sentence:
... had the lowest spending money that consumers spent in those countries.

I suggest you make it into emphasizing to show that it is very important.
"The highest expenditure is Turkey" it is better if you said "Turkey is The highest expenditure".

Pay more attention with capital letter
People of All of those countries spent
Anhy chan 12 / 22  
May 1, 2017   #4
HI @syamsiahRahim , here several suggestions for you to improve your writing, Firstly, i could say that your overview is quiet good, but it is not covered all the information. You may connected the kind of activities with the country which has the higher proportion in each activities. Then, turning to body paragraph, I think this essay is lack of cohesive and coherence, therefore, try to learn more how to use linking verb in approppriate way. it is important to boost your score on CC categories.
agus_mono 13 / 23  
May 1, 2017   #5
@syamsiahRahim
i have read your essay clearly. first of all, i think you can improve your overview by selecting the general view because you just mention the lowest spending category. turning to the second paragraph, i found several grammatical mistakes, such you wrote in the second sentence. although you wrote complex sentence, you used inadequate tenses. you must passive in this sentence.


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