Unanswered [14] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

The perspective of the people about a healthy lifestyle

badafebriani17 34 / 44 1  
Oct 31, 2016   #1
Some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Other, however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit they want to be.

This day, in a modern era, many people have a problem with their health. For instance, a lack to do some exercises. Some people say that exercising is uneasy activity, but other people argue that a healthy lifestyle in this matter is an exercise, is simple and easy to apply it.

The workers usually spend a lot of time in their offices. They do their jobs from the morning until the evening. It condition makes they rarely to go to the sport center for their healthy need. Because, they spent leisure time in the weekend just to stay in home or got to the shop. So, it will difficult to having sport. If, they continue this behaviour may they will experience decreasing of health standard. For example a cardiovascular diseases, because they have no time to make their body more fit.

On the other hand, people argue that healthy lifestyle is easy to apply in their lives. For example, the employee in the office with rush and many deadline tasks, they can use opportunities such as like walking to go to the office. They can keep their condition in fit. If, they walking routinely. Many benefits from walking. They can burn their calories and their muscle feet became stronger. So, it is good for their healthy. The study discovered that walking 1000 steps every day can increase the immune and make the person's bone stronger, so it very useful and suitable for busy employee who want to improve their healthy.

There are many issues about a healthy lifestyle recently. People think that healthy lifestyle is difficult because a reason. But it will easier with do a simple activity that possible to do. But, very useful for healthy. I believe that everyone can improve their habit to healthy, whatever their job, with do simple activity but routine.
mardian24 46 / 75  
Nov 1, 2016   #2
Hi Bada, Let me give some comments

1. In my opinion, you should give general statement in introduction instead of giving an example. You can explain more about your ideas, reason, and example to support your main idea in each paragraf.

2. It better for you to use present perfect or present perfect continuous in introduction because the action has already happened and the results could be seen today. Also, it will give you various tenses in your writing.

3. They do their jobs from in the morning until in the evening ...
It is preferable to use a preposition before time information

Thank you
Break a leg and keep writing
ifraanisa05 44 / 70 6  
Nov 2, 2016   #3
Hi ms bada, here are my suggestions for you

Your introductory paragraph:
For instance, a lack ...
In the first paragraph, you have to write your general view about those statements instead of giving an example. you can change for example --> such as

add your paragraph one into 3 sentences so that it will be appropriate

a lack to do some exercises
instead of using to+inf, using gerund would be better --> a lack of doing some exercises

So, it is good for their healthyhealth
healthy is an adjective. you need a noun after pronoun 'their'
nurainiyusuf16 47 / 83 6  
Nov 3, 2016   #4
Hello Bada!
Allow me to give you some suggestion.

1. Punctuation; If

If, they continue this behaviour may they will experience decreasing of health standard.

If refers to probably, so do not have to add "may"
If they continue this behaviour, they will experience decreasing of health standard

2. Proper word

So, it is good for their healthy.

Healthy -> Adjective
Health -> Noun
Pronoun + noun

So, it is good for their health.

Hope it helps you :)

Home / Writing Feedback / The perspective of the people about a healthy lifestyle
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳