Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback % width Posts: 3

More physical education lessons in schools to control the obesity


husimplicity 1 / 1  
Aug 12, 2019   #1

unhealthy life style



TOPIC:The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issue involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In order to deal with the widely focused problem of the growing population of overweight people, some people propose to introduce more physical education lessons in schools. I firmly support this proposal to tackle the health issue of overweight for students, but not so effective for those who have already graduated.

Admittedly, to introduce PE lessons in school is the best way to deal with the health issue surrounding obesity and weight problems of students in terms of both an instant effect and a long-term result. For short term, this method will ensure a certain period of time for sports and exercise at school. By introducing benefits of the exercise and techniques of some particular sports in PE lessons, students will be more willing to do sports, enjoy sports and gradually develop the habit of doing sports both in and out of class. Currently, however, sports time for students is only about twice a week in average, far from enough to counteract the otherwise sedentary lifestyle. Therefore, such a method that can effectively increase sports time will undoubtedly make students fitter and more active. For long term, students' developed habit and interest that have been incorporated into their daily life during school years will be maintained after graduation and what is more, filter through to other members in their family, thus expanding the population of sport. For instance, a father keen on sport will certainly fail to conceal this passion and otherwise manage to attract their children by displaying the charm of strength and veracity and exquisite techniques in a particular sport. In this way, the habit of doing sports is passed from generation to generation. Therefore, this is a natural and lasting way to promote a healthy life style and to improve public health.

However, those who have graduated contribute a large part to the total population of the overweight but they cannot have a PE lesson like students. For these people, apart from advertising in social media to spread knowledge of health, it can be an effective way to offer subsidies to the gyms and shops of sport facilities so as to lower the price and thus encourage people to do sports.

In conclusion, to introduce more physical education lessons in schools is perfect to control the increasing number of overweight population of the next generation by improving their life style, but for graduates, measures aforementioned could be more effective.

Thangnguyen315 5 / 14 3  
Aug 13, 2019   #2
@husimplicity
I think because you firmly agree with the statement in your introduction, you should write two paragraphs with approximately same length, each of them should include one supporting idea instead of saying " not so effective" to get a high CC score

That's my opinion!

Regards
Thang
OP husimplicity 1 / 1  
Aug 13, 2019   #3
@Thangnguyen315
Thank you. Very helpful advice


Home / Writing Feedback / More physical education lessons in schools to control the obesity