The pictures describe various stages of the manufacture of chocolate

The illustrations show how chocolate is produced.

The pictures describe various stages of the manufacture of chocolate.

It can be seen from the diagram that there are a total of 10 steps in this process, beginning with gathering pods and ending with the resulting liquid chocolate.

To begin with, ripe red pods from cacao tress grown in South America, Africa and Indonesia are harvested with the main purpose of taking the white cocoa beans inside. Then, these kernels undergo the fermentation and dehydration process.

In the next stage of this process, afterget dried in a period of time, these grains are packed in large sacks and transport to factory by railway or truck. In this place, beans stored in these sacks are taken to roast the in high temperature at about 350 degrees Celsius. Roasted berries then go through the last step, while the outer shells are eliminated, the beans are crushed and press to produce liquid chocolate.

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Two better ways to describe the image that would have gotten a better score: (1) The illustrative drawings or (2) the pencil drawn diagrams.

The actual explanations of the chocolare making process feels rushed. It lacks proper analysis and a clearer presentation of the procedures and its outcomes. You could have focused more on balancing the descriptions per paragraph to achieve this. Your paragraphs are uneven in presentation. All paragraphs should have at least 3, but no more than 5 sentences per presentation. You do not need to always compress your descriptions in this case since being descriptive is the best way to improve your score.


I am not sure what you mean. Did you mean "After being set out under the sun to dry"?